We all go through times when we feel as though we’re not achieving very much.  We continually show up, put in the hours, the effort, the thought, and yet nothing seems to grow or change. In my own life, I’ve been through a long period of working very hard and seeing very little in terms of results or progression. If anything, a lot of my work has been met with opposition and setbacks, however, after a lot of reflection I’ve always come to the conclusion that it is better to keep going. If it makes me happy then it is worth it!

Earlier this year, I was given a prophetic word from a woman I don’t know. She told me that she could see that my artistic work had grown in a way that I couldn’t see, despite the setbacks and problems she could see growth and life. She described seeing plants that became “tall trees” and was encouraging me to understand that even though I couldn’t see the influence my artistic output was having, it was indeed having an effect far wider than I can see. And that’s what this new song Tall Trees is all about…

We have an idea, a plan, a vision, but the daily grind of bringing that idea to pass can make us lose sight of the vision at large. Sometimes people don’t support the vision we have or don’t see it as necessary for helping others. They cannot understand that God might want to work in a way that is outside of their understanding or world view. It’s in these times that we need to focus on what God has said to us and keep going. 

I’ve found over the years that I have questioned whether I understood God’s plan correctly. Did I get it wrong or mishear what he said? However, it’s the gentle encouragements that the input is making a difference that have kept me going.  The unexpected emails or social media comments that take me by surprise; little hidden gems that remind me that I am doing the right thing. It’s important to keep chipping away at the task, as small things add up to make a big difference. We often think we know how God will bring a vision or idea to pass, but in reality God does things outside of our own understanding and perspective. That doesn’t mean that it will be less than we expect, the Lord always gives more than we hope for, but he is also interested in the journey to the destination as it helps us become more like him. 

Strong, tall trees don’t grow overnight and deep roots grow in the dark soil. It’s the same when we’re building with God, it can take years of toiling away before we see fruit of what he showed us years before. Although the process can be disheartening and gruelling, the end result is worth it. The difficult and challenging seasons are designed to give a us a great story to share with others. I wrote Tall Trees as a reminder to myself to keep moving with the word that God gave me many years ago. It’s a challenge to myself to keep being creative and faithful to God. So don’t be afraid to keep moving forward and make the next chapter of your story…

Listen and buy the song here

Sometimes you look back at a song and realise that you have been trying to tell yourself something for a long time. A situation you need to put right, something that you need to do, someone or something that is doing you no good that you need to let go of or even congratulating yourself because you have done really well. Little fragments of our inner thoughts seep into our work and ferment while we are unaware. 

As a songwriter, I always want to write music that moves people with lyrics that make them think. That’s always been my goal, to give people a song that is valuable to them and that they can hold onto. Lyrics and music can be so intrinsically linked that they can move us on a spiritual level. Every artist wants to connect with their audience, but if you can share something in common from experience you have a much deeper connection. 

Recently I found this video clip of comedy actor Jim Carrey talking about his other passion in life, art. I was really intrigued by something he says about the path of creative discovery:

“You really don’t know what a sculpture or a painting totally means, you think you do. Most of the time I start out with a plan and then in like a year later I’ll realise that the painting what I needed to know about myself before.

Sometimes when we create, we start by giving our audience a message but more often than not, we we find out something about ourselves. Six years ago I wrote the song Close That Door, I was actually writing about two different situations that two of my friends were finding themselves in. None of it was pretty and they both had come to the end of themselves and needed to close the door on those situations. What I didn’t know at the time was that I was actually prophesying to myself about something that needed to happen in my own life. I need to close a door, a chapter, a lifestyle and move on into new things. As I was going through the season of transition and change, one of my closest friends pointed out that I had already told myself that this new season was coming and to let go of the old so that I could embrace the new things ahead of me. That was a bit of a shocker at the time! But now I understand it was coming from a place of being led by God into a new season. He likes to prepare us before he makes changes, it’s part of his promise to always be with us. 

“What I needed to know about myself before…” Life is a constant journey of growing, reflecting, making mistakes, celebrating victories but we learn so much about ourselves by contemplating on where we are and how we are dealing with our current moment. Jim acknowledges that his art is therapeutic and helps him process his emotions and experiences, but also that each piece of work contains part of him and his life journey. There are so many different ways that God can speak to us and this really is just scratching the surface of what artists, musicians, and writers channel through their creations. What I’m trying to say is that art isn’t just for an audience, it helps the artist hear what they need to know…

This a short devotion I wrote for a local church on the subject of Mary’s promise for Jesus’ life…

When we are called to God’s service, we have an expectation of how it will look and pan out. In Luke 1, the angel gives Mary a message that her son “will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High”. How shocked she must have been when she laid her newborn son in a cattle trough! God’s message to Mary was of greater things to come, a promise to hold onto when life seemed to be going in the opposite way.

Often we have an idea of how God wants us to serve him, but the reality doesn’t always match our expectations. We become disillusioned and thoughts of quitting roam our minds. It is in these seasons that God reminds us to hold on to the vision he has given us; food for the journey for when the road seems long. God’s plans look different to our own, but we can be sure that his promises always come to pass. If you are following God’s dream for your life, the Lord will see you through the desert to the promised land. As for Mary, her baby may have had a rocky start, but he went on to a glorious ending.

So why would a hardcore, best-selling rapper announce that he has found God? There’s been a lot of sensational reports about Kanye West’s conversion to Christianity recently. The press have had a field day on his new found faith: some think it’s a press stunt while others are dumbfounded by his sincerity. Everyone is lining up to interview him, and even James Corden made a beeline to film a segment for Airpool Karaoke with the Gold Digger rap star. His latest album release, Jesus Is King has shocked both music industry and the general public. It seems some people don’t know what to make of the situation. 

Some of the controversy is over whether his faith is genuine or a passing phase, and to be fair we have to ask this question of our own faith and belief before pointing the finger at others. There are some Christian believers who are dubious and unconvinced, yet how would they feel if someone questioned their own faith? We should be rejoicing over the one who has come to God, not asking whether God’s miracle of new faith is good enough to satisfy our own curiosity. When the prodigal son returned, his brother was less than pleased about it. People have found Kanye’s sudden conversion difficult, however there are many Christians who came to faith overnight. Whether we come to God slowly or quickly, the important part is that we accepted God in his timing. 

Some time ago, a revival in Hollywood was prophesied and many have been eagerly waiting to see it. A revival starts with one person; that’s all it takes to bring to good news to people. Kanye is a high profile rapper with a huge following. His example, no matter how different to our own, shines out to his colleagues, fan base and the entertainment industry. His first album The College Dropout indicated his rebellious nature against his middle class, well educated background. Who better to rebel against an industry that has seen religion as a unfashionable and a waste of time? God always chooses unexpected people to fulfil his will. 

This is the time for people to support Kanye in his journey with God. There will be plenty of naysayers who want him to steer off course. It is our responsibility to look after new believers. It is not our place to test whether his faith is genuine, that test belongs to God. Kanye’s walk with God started some time ago, and his Jesus Walks single in 2004 was indication of the journey we are seeing today. The artistic journey often ruffles feathers as the artist represents the world as they see it. Audiences often react quickly when the finished article isn’t what they expect, explicit or not in line with church culture. There needs to be graciousness and a willingness to try and understand a different point of view. Growing in faith takes time and encouragement; no one becomes a saint overnight. 

Whatever your feelings about Kanye’s realisation of faith, his dedication is admirable. If anything it has made me re-evaluate my own circumstances and reflect on how I represent my faith to the world. Kanye’s courage to announce his conversion reminds us that following Jesus isn’t for wimps. Those who cling to God’s call need support and unity, and as Christians that’s what we’re called to provide. Maybe it is time to stop freaking out, and show a bit of love…

A few weeks ago I performed at a house concert in Aylesbury. We had a full house as it sold out! They were such a lovely crowd of people from all over Buckinghamshire. I really enjoy these concerts as there is a lot of interaction from the audience; it’s an intimate gig as the audience only had ten people in it! As well as hearing the stories behind the songs, people ask me questions and talk about how the songs make them feel. That’s such a privilege for an artist; a real opportunity to find out how people are reacting to my work. I also played some of my new songs: it’s always nerve-wracking playing a song in public for the first time as you’re never sure if people will like it. You learn very quickly whether a song is hitting the spot or whether it needs work! Of course, I sang some of the old favourites as well and everyone joined in.

If you’re interested in me performing at a house concert or event, please email me.

I’m not one of those people who has a lot of luck with competitions. Almost a decade ago, I won a booze hamper in a raffle and I felt like I’d hit the jackpot. Carrying it back to the car was a comedy of errors as it took two of us, but it was more than worth it. Back in the summer, I entered an art competition on a whim. It was one of those crazy, mad moments on a Saturday night where I thought “yeah, why not?”. To be honest, I didn’t think I’d win so it was a bit of surprise when I got an email to see that my entry had been chosen. The prize? My painting, Walking Into the Light was chosen to be turned into a charity greetings card. It’s probably the most well known pieces from my portfolio and is one of my favourites as it’s part of my personal journey. The painting depicts coming out of a dark season into the light.

The charity I have chosen to support is Aylesbury Women’s Aid. They support women who have suffered domestic abuse and their journey back to freedom. The charity’s work isn’t just with victims, they also advise the police and other agencies on how to help victims and what emergency help is available, they run refuges, counselling, and courses for survivors and other agencies. Education is very much part of their mission as well as offering help and advice. 

If I’ve learnt anything from this exercise, it would be that it’s always worth having a go at something even if you think it won’t go your way. Life is too short to miss out on opportunities and its never too late in life to have a go. So if you’re procrastinating on something, take the leap and have a go. You never know where it might lead. Be brave, courageous, and adventurous. Believe in yourself, you might find that someone else agrees with your vision and supports you. 

If you would like to support Women’s Aid, you can purchase one of my cards for £2. If you would like to make further donation to this wonderful organisation, that would also be appreciated. To purchase a card, please click here. For more details about the charity, click here.

What do you do with a blank canvas? It’s been a long time since I started a painting without sketching the idea first, but this canvas has been calling out for a landscape scene, so I thought I’d just go for it. When I looked at the panoramic shape of the canvas I could see a sun setting over a flourishing hillside. I’ve always liked the idea that woodland has many colours throughout the seasons of the year, so the colour scheme came naturally.

There’s a freedom to being able to paint without sticking to a previous sketch. It’s also a little daunting as you realise that you don’t know where you’re going with it! I must admit that this approach meant that the painting took longer than anticipated, but eventually I got the result I was looking for. The longest part was choosing the colour scheme for the sun; after a few attempts I could see that it needed to be darker than the rest of the painting to get that feeling of “the sun going down”.

This painting sold before I even managed to advertise it! Probably the fastest selling piece for painting so far…

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So how many times in the last week have you thought “how will I ever get this done?” or “just give me a break” or “why are you so hard on me?”. Social media platforms show everyone’s perfect life with their perfect friends and family. But let’s be fair about this, most of what we see on social media is an edit of what it really happening in someone’s life. I think what gets me the most is the amount of judgement against each other’s life choices. We all do it from time to time without being aware of it. However, some people, through lack of understanding, can be quite condemning of situations that are different from their own. Our paths in life are all different and rightly so, we are unique, not one of us is the same, so how could we all walk the same path? 

If I’m totally honest, I became tired of other people’s expectations of me. We live in a society that can push motherhood towards perfection and disallows women to flourish outside of that role. Every women’s experience of motherhood is different and like a lot of women, single motherhood was never part of my plan, but it’s a thousand times better than the situation I was in before. We’ve seen the backlash to this movement in popular books such as “Why Mummy Drinks” by Gill Sims and the rise of social media stars such as Kristina Kuzmic, who celebrate their humanity by stating that it’s ok to not be a perfect mother. 

If anything, I wanted this song to point out that it’s ok to live our lives in a way that works for us. Being hard on other people doesn’t make them aspire to live differently, more over that they feel condemned by it. People thrive when they are loved and respected, not put down and judged. Positive attitudes bring hope to a situation, and encourage people to keep going when times are tough. And let’s face it, being a parent is never-ending hard work, full of challenges and rewards. 

So this song is a shout out to all the women making life happen. Those who work, parent, mentor, cook, clean, create, nurture, manage, plan, care and hold it all together for others. Those who rise to the challenge and and keep going no matter what. You rock!

You can download the mp3 from iTunes, Amazon and Bandcamp. Or listen on Spotify and Apple Music. Remember, every time you buy music from an independent artist, you’re contributing resources for them to make more music in the future.

Download the single here

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Parenthood and artistry...My hands smell of bleach and I’m wondering if I remembered to register an ISRC code with PPL.  My son is waving a school form in his hand and I’ve just received an email from a radio station about airplay. This request then makes me have a slight panic as I realise that I haven’t prepared the EPK (electronic press kit) for the single. There’s laundry everywhere and I haven’t done my invoicing. This is the day to day reality of being an artist in 2019. I’m a mother, a singer-songwriter, a friend, a painter, a daughter, a writer, a sister and my manager all rolled into one. Everyday I spin plates to make things work at home and at work. 

There are lots of romantic notions about artists and how they live. As though we spend our days drinking coffee and pondering life’s realities whilst creating something beautiful in a loft apartment. For me, this couldn’t be farther from the truth. Yes I do drink a lot of coffee and I do spend a lot of thinking, but my life is surrounded my other elements as well. I’m a single mother of two children, I live in a terraced house in a market town, I have a job as well as running a business. I’ve learnt to be creative in small pockets of time, whilst cooking the dinner or after I’ve put the kids to bed, while there’s an hour of quiet or while I’m sat on a train to town. In fact, large spaces of time seem intimidating now; they have no structure, no deadline to spur me on. That one hour slot of time makes me seize the day and be decisive in my work and thinking. Before I had children I could waste hours on projects that didn’t really go anywhere. Juggling family life and work has made me more focused on what I want. 

From the outside, my day must look haphazard and chaotic. Sometimes as I’m being creative, other ideas spring to mind and I have to shelve them so that I can get on with my day. I used to find this frustrating but more recently I’ve found that it makes me hone in on what I really want and what will work. It makes me work savvy. The chaos adds to the creativity; it’s a constant stream of ideas. 

Sometimes you have to be forgiving of situations that arise that you have no control over. Sometimes projects get delayed, or they change. Sometimes things just don’t get done. Life will take over. The secret is not to be too hard yourself and ride the wave as it comes towards you. 

If anything I want to encourage you to create and work in whatever circumstance you find yourself in. There will never be a perfect time to create. An idea has to lift off the ground at some point. If you wait for that perfect moment, you will miss an opportunity. I used have have an office to work in; over time that office has become a bedroom for one of my children. This morning I answered my emails at a small workspace in my kitchen; it’s also where I paint. Yesterday I worked on a recording of a new song; no fancy office, I curled on the sofa with my laptop. It’s less than ideal, but if you want something bad enough, you will find a way to make it happen. It takes resilience and tenacity to work through the challenges, but it is worth it in the end. It is possible to balance family life and work space. 

All dreams start from small beginnings. A humble seed may take years to grow, but it can grow into a mighty oak tree. So while I’m writing this blog, my hands smell of bleach from cleaning the sink, I’m uploading a song to a music distributer and the washing machine is on in the background. It’s all in a day’s work and I love it! Don’t let the excuses stop you from creating. 

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Earlier this month is was in an art shop and felt the prompted to buy a heart shaped canvas. I can’t say that it’s something I would normally go for but I bought it anyway. That same day, someone told me that they loved the bold colours in my previous work and that they would love to see more of that. Within 48 hours of that conversation, I painted the RAW HEART.

Amazingly this painted sold with less than hour. I’ve never sold a painting that quickly before, so it was a real blessing! What’s even more lovely, is that it was bought as a present for a birthday. I gave my heart away and someone gave it away as a gift – the love was passed on. Here’s a beautiful photo of RAW HEART and it’s new owner, Allie…