Tag: creative lifestyle

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A few weeks ago, Paul Gibbs from NoteSpire radio interviewed me about faith and being creative. We discussed using life experiences in our songwriting in order to help others, the post creatives blues, creating the Thaw painting and the role of music teaching. We also talked about my song I Won’t Rush You which you can find here.

NoteSpire radio is based in the USA in York, Pennsylvania, so we had challenge with the time difference, and the interview was recorded at midnight here in England. However I was wide awake!

The interview is being broadcast live on the radio station from Wednesday 7 June, however it is also available as a podcast to listen to now on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and all main podcast sites. Grab and a cup of tea and enjoy!

Listen here

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You’ve finished a piece of work that you have loved creating. A real passion project that has been a dream come true. You’ve given your all to making this work and now it has finished. You’ve had lots of amazing comments and feedback on your creation, and it feels good, it feels amazing. Yet underneath it all, you feel drained and slightly down. How can this be? It makes no sense; your brain tells you that you should feel amazing but secretly you feel exhausted. 

Recently, I was speaking with a friend who is experiencing the post creative blues, that space within the past project and the future project. A mixed space of joy and depression that leaves you confused by the paradox of both emotions. A space that leaves you exhausted wondering if you can do it all over again. She was mainly confused by how tired and drained she felt from giving herself to a long, demanding project. Her questions ranged from, “is this normal?” to “will I feel like creating again?”. And the answer to both those questions is yes. 

The post creative blues are real. To be realistic, you’ve just given birth to a project that you have been nurturing for a long time. You’ve taken care over every detail and carefully grown an idea from a small seed of an idea into a beautiful baby. Now that baby has been born you need to rest both your mind and body before starting again. We forget this and presume that we are capable of continually producing work, that we can always give to others, but before we can give, we must receive and replenish ourselves. You can’t pour out of an empty vessel.

We are more than artists; we are human beings. Being an artist doesn’t define who we are, it adds to who we are. Learning to care for and nurture ourselves before we create is essential for our daily living, our survival. If we look after ourselves will ultimately create better more defined work, and more importantly we will enjoy what we are creating. If we’re so tired that the joy of creating has gone, then there’s no point creating. 

Part of the creation process takes us beyond ourselves and our capabilities; we channel the divine in order to create. Those artistic eureka moments bring both ease and exhaustion as we battle with our inadequacies and rejoice as we achieve our goals. The ease and exhaustion come as the divine pushes us beyond our capabilities, and we create something far greater than we imagined. The Bible tells us that God created the world in six days and on the seventh day he rested. There’s a good lesson in this, that even the supreme creator took time out to rest. 

The other issue is the loss of purpose after a project ends; suddenly we have time on our hands and we don’t know what to do with ourselves. All the drive and passion are laid down as we step back from the projection completion. It’s in these times that we need to remind ourselves of the ebb and flow of life, there are always busy and quiet times, and they follow a natural cycle. It’s important to recognise that these seasons will pass and a time to create will come around again. You haven’t lost your purpose; you are in the process of redefining your purpose whilst you wait for the next project.

The post creative blues should remind us that we have just achieved greatness in our creativity. They are signal to remind us to rest and recuperate, and to take stock of everything that we have achieved, but also that there will be further opportunities in the future. This is just the lull before we get back up and try something new, it’s not the end. If anything, the post creative blues remind us that the best is yet to come. 

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Some days starting a new creative project is really hard. Creativity can be as difficult as it is pleasing. If I’m not in the mood, distractions become attractive. My head tells me that other options are available, but my heart wants to create… 

  1. Food. Yes really, I cannot tell you how many times I’ve settled down to work and my stomach has decided that food is more important. A sandwich, crisps, a biscuit (I don’t even like biscuits!), anything to stop me doing some work.  
  1. Neighbours. Suddenly the activities of my neighbours become far more interesting than writing a song, blog or doing some artwork. Who knew that next door’s Deliveroo delivery could be so entertaining?!  
  1. The box set. I’ve seen Sex And the City 8000 times, I don’t need to see it again, yet hours on the sofa seem more attractive than getting started on a blog. Also don’t let me crack open the Ghostbusters box set… 
  1. Cleaning. Suddenly I have a desperate urge to clean everything and get on top of the housework. This is partially linked to the fact that I find it hard to be creative in a messy room. For me, a tidy room means a tidy mind. Coincidently I have no urge to clean when I’m not creating. 
  1. The phone. This is a dangerous problem. Hours can be lost doom scrolling and checking out other artists and what they are up to. It can be a door to depression, so don’t go there. Don’t look at their accounts, concentrate on what you are doing. Also, whatever you do, absolutely do not look on Amazon, it leads to stupid purchases.  
  1. Old work. Looking at unfinished projects and suddenly thinking that they are more important than the piece I’m working on now. I also look at pieces I have finished and past successes (and failures!!!) and waste a lot of time analysing how I would have done things differently. 
  1. Emails. Messages from clients, friends, shops that I once bought something from in 2015…. These all become very urgent when I’ve got a creative project to start.  
  1. The need to go outside. As soon as I’ve got to sit down and focus, my brain tells me that I need to be outside in the sunshine. Or, even worse… that I will work better in a coffee shop. I’ve learnt to set times or targets for working and then the reward is a wander outside.  
  1. Tea. I have come to the conclusion that a cup of tea has the same danger as a mythical siren; the kettle is so alluring and takes me away from my goal. It all starts with “I’ll just have a quick cuppa…” 
  1. Teenage music. And by this, I mean the music that I listened to when I was a teenager. Hours of time lost to listening to Adamski and the Prodigy.  

PS. I wrote this blog instead of composing some music that desperately needs finishing. I was listening to Killer by Adamski. You’re welcome. 

What makes you procrastinate and not be creative? 

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We all go through times when we feel as though we’re not achieving very much.  We continually show up, put in the hours, the effort, the thought, and yet nothing seems to grow or change. In my own life, I’ve been through a long period of working very hard and seeing very little in terms of results or progression. If anything, a lot of my work has been met with opposition and setbacks, however, after a lot of reflection I’ve always come to the conclusion that it is better to keep going. If it makes me happy then it is worth it!

Earlier this year, I was given a prophetic word from a woman I don’t know. She told me that she could see that my artistic work had grown in a way that I couldn’t see, despite the setbacks and problems she could see growth and life. She described seeing plants that became “tall trees” and was encouraging me to understand that even though I couldn’t see the influence my artistic output was having, it was indeed having an effect far wider than I can see. And that’s what this new song Tall Trees is all about…

We have an idea, a plan, a vision, but the daily grind of bringing that idea to pass can make us lose sight of the vision at large. Sometimes people don’t support the vision we have or don’t see it as necessary for helping others. They cannot understand that God might want to work in a way that is outside of their understanding or world view. It’s in these times that we need to focus on what God has said to us and keep going. 

I’ve found over the years that I have questioned whether I understood God’s plan correctly. Did I get it wrong or mishear what he said? However, it’s the gentle encouragements that the input is making a difference that have kept me going.  The unexpected emails or social media comments that take me by surprise; little hidden gems that remind me that I am doing the right thing. It’s important to keep chipping away at the task, as small things add up to make a big difference. We often think we know how God will bring a vision or idea to pass, but in reality God does things outside of our own understanding and perspective. That doesn’t mean that it will be less than we expect, the Lord always gives more than we hope for, but he is also interested in the journey to the destination as it helps us become more like him. 

Strong, tall trees don’t grow overnight and deep roots grow in the dark soil. It’s the same when we’re building with God, it can take years of toiling away before we see fruit of what he showed us years before. Although the process can be disheartening and gruelling, the end result is worth it. The difficult and challenging seasons are designed to give a us a great story to share with others. I wrote Tall Trees as a reminder to myself to keep moving with the word that God gave me many years ago. It’s a challenge to myself to keep being creative and faithful to God. So don’t be afraid to keep moving forward and make the next chapter of your story…

Listen and buy the song here

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Parenthood and artistry...My hands smell of bleach and I’m wondering if I remembered to register an ISRC code with PPL.  My son is waving a school form in his hand and I’ve just received an email from a radio station about airplay. This request then makes me have a slight panic as I realise that I haven’t prepared the EPK (electronic press kit) for the single. There’s laundry everywhere and I haven’t done my invoicing. This is the day to day reality of being an artist in 2019. I’m a mother, a singer-songwriter, a friend, a painter, a daughter, a writer, a sister and my manager all rolled into one. Everyday I spin plates to make things work at home and at work. 

There are lots of romantic notions about artists and how they live. As though we spend our days drinking coffee and pondering life’s realities whilst creating something beautiful in a loft apartment. For me, this couldn’t be farther from the truth. Yes I do drink a lot of coffee and I do spend a lot of thinking, but my life is surrounded my other elements as well. I’m a single mother of two children, I live in a terraced house in a market town, I have a job as well as running a business. I’ve learnt to be creative in small pockets of time, whilst cooking the dinner or after I’ve put the kids to bed, while there’s an hour of quiet or while I’m sat on a train to town. In fact, large spaces of time seem intimidating now; they have no structure, no deadline to spur me on. That one hour slot of time makes me seize the day and be decisive in my work and thinking. Before I had children I could waste hours on projects that didn’t really go anywhere. Juggling family life and work has made me more focused on what I want. 

From the outside, my day must look haphazard and chaotic. Sometimes as I’m being creative, other ideas spring to mind and I have to shelve them so that I can get on with my day. I used to find this frustrating but more recently I’ve found that it makes me hone in on what I really want and what will work. It makes me work savvy. The chaos adds to the creativity; it’s a constant stream of ideas. 

Sometimes you have to be forgiving of situations that arise that you have no control over. Sometimes projects get delayed, or they change. Sometimes things just don’t get done. Life will take over. The secret is not to be too hard yourself and ride the wave as it comes towards you. 

If anything I want to encourage you to create and work in whatever circumstance you find yourself in. There will never be a perfect time to create. An idea has to lift off the ground at some point. If you wait for that perfect moment, you will miss an opportunity. I used have have an office to work in; over time that office has become a bedroom for one of my children. This morning I answered my emails at a small workspace in my kitchen; it’s also where I paint. Yesterday I worked on a recording of a new song; no fancy office, I curled on the sofa with my laptop. It’s less than ideal, but if you want something bad enough, you will find a way to make it happen. It takes resilience and tenacity to work through the challenges, but it is worth it in the end. It is possible to balance family life and work space. 

All dreams start from small beginnings. A humble seed may take years to grow, but it can grow into a mighty oak tree. So while I’m writing this blog, my hands smell of bleach from cleaning the sink, I’m uploading a song to a music distributer and the washing machine is on in the background. It’s all in a day’s work and I love it! Don’t let the excuses stop you from creating. 

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We’ve all been there: stuck in a rut, frustrated, can’t produce anything new. Our creativity diminishes and we fear that we’ll never produce anything new or good again. There are two things you can do in this situation: firstly, rest. I can not emphasise how important it is for creative people to rest. A few years ago, I was told by a record executive that you have to keep going and produce new work all the time. “People always want something new to consume” he said. And that’s where I switched off. It is true that as an artist you need to keep some momentum, it’s also true that if you don’t stop you will burn out and lose your passion for creating music altogether. That is a far worse state to be in than just taking a few months off. The whole idea of producing for consumption does not appeal either. Art should be revered not consumed.

Secondly, do something new. Be brave and try something completely different that takes you out of comfort zone. Just because the route you were on has come to an end, doesn’t mean it’s the end of your creativity. Sometimes we need time to recalibrate between creative seasons. We change as people, which also means the way we think and do things has to grow with us. What we perceive as an ending, is actually the beginning of a something new.

So what did I do when my creative energy came to a grinding halt? Well I did eventually take my own advice and have a rest. It took some doing, I was convinced that I needed to keep going but in reality it just wasn’t possible. And you know what? I actually enjoyed having a break! I watched films, saw friends and did things that I normally don’t get time to do. And then.. I started to listen to all the music I love and remember why I fell in love with music in the first place. It’s important to remember that you get one life; spend it well, with the people who are important to you and doing the things that make you happy. Success can be measured in many ways, but it can also lead you to search for things that ultimately become meaningless in the course of life. You’ll make better art if you learn to enjoy life and get your priorities in order.

I also changed the way I write songs. I used to spend hours at the piano working at the magical moment when music and lyrics come together. I decided to write songs by just singing without the piano and seeing what happens; this meant that I could write anywhere. Then I went back to creating backing tracks and top-lining, something that I haven’t done in a long time. I gave myself small creative challenges, such as writing a short song in thirty minutes and recording it using vocal loops, (you can hear the song here). The return to simplicity helped free up my creativity and took the pressure off. Bravery came calling and I decided to release an EP of my demos (I still can’t believe I’ve let you hear them!) so that listeners could experience the live, raw element of songwriting (you can hear the EP here).

I also decided, after a lot of soul searching, to change the way fans can support my work. In the new year I will be launching Helen’s Angels which is a VIP club that fans can join and receive new music, videos, merchandise each month. More details about this will follow in 2018.

So what I’m saying is that there comes a time for all us when we have to throw our net over the other side of the boat and see what happens. It’s a game of trust that will lead to self-development. In letting go, we can gain new skills and experiences. So if you’re stuck in a rut, try something new!

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Half written songs, rejections, unshakeable belief and failed projects; it turns out that you’ve got to have guts to be an artist! Last week I had a conversation that sadly I’ve had over and over again in the last fifteen years…

Person: “so I hear you’re a musician”

Me: “yes that’s right”

Person: “so what do you do for a living?”

Me: SIGH…

IMG_3524You see no-one ever believes you when you say you’re a singer, musician, artist. People either think that I’m going through a phase and that I’ll get over it or that I have delusions of grandeur. But what if being an artist is just about wanting to create something beautiful and represent the world that you see around you? Art has many purposes: social comment, raising awareness, soothing emotions and trauma and “just because”.

But I’ve discovered that this isn’t for the faint hearted, its not just about singing, playing piano and painting a few nice pictures here and there.  I’ve found that to follow those artistic purposes involves painful honesty, boldness and courage. Earlier this week Adele, admitted that she didn’t think she could write another record and that the “25” album took much longer than she thought as the songwriting was difficult. The reality is that the creative process takes a piece of you and this is emotionally and physically exhausting.

Then there’s the practical side that no-one ever warns you about. Like all freelancers and business owners, I have to go out and find work opportunities and more often then not, if there aren’t any, I have to create them. Everyday I work as my own manager, promoter, booker, marketer, financier, administrator as well as composing and dreaming up new ideas. The launch of every new album, EP, single is a gut wrenching roller coaster ride of excitement and terror. Will the songs be well received? Will the project break even, let alone run into profit? Have I just released some terrible songs?

The exciting part of being an artist is that you get to be a pioneer! Artists are often called into uncharted areas where there is little creativity to shed light into darkness. We’re called to try new things, expressions, media to see where it will go. It’s risk taking – we put our hearts on our sleeves in order to encourage, enlighten, warn and protect. The downside of this can mean that we risk rejection, being misunderstood, loneliness and sometimes humiliation. The artist’s world is a brave one; it means going out on a limb.

Artistry also means accepting a Bohemian lifestyle. Artists choose a lifestyle that the world says is unconventional, different and not “normal”. We are called to think and see the world differently: to dream… Sometimes we choose to create when the mood takes us, other times we are forced to put pen to paper and hope that we can conjure the magic. We are often misunderstood as the creative force means working with ideas, notions and timetables that are different to what the world says is acceptable.

The whole package of artistry means being DARING in everything from self belief, to work, to lifestyle. It means daring to be different and knowing your own mind. You need to seek out others who will support you through all seasons, not just the good times and the successes. They may not always understand but they are the type of people who will support you no matter what. You got to have guts to be an artist…