Tomorrow’s Brighter – my new single. Plus check out the cartoon version of me!
Tomorrow’s Brighter – my new single. Plus check out the cartoon version of me!
It has been said that it takes a crisis for people to see what they truly value. Never has this been more evident in our generation than through the COVID-19 crisis. The national lockdown may have brought people to a stand still but also to a place of deep introspection on personal and national level. We are continually in awe at the NHS response to coronavirus, and as a nation, I think we can see how deeply passionate we are about keeping our uniquely funded National Health Service. In the past key workers have been treated with a lack of respect, however, their true value has now been seen: the least have become the greatest.
We’ve also realised how complicated our lives have become and discovered that simplicity can lead to contentment. The fact we can’t go out or see our families and friends has lead us to rethink what is important in our lives. We’ve discovered that the internet is not luxury but a necessity in life; everything from schooling, work, business, and relationships has been diverted into online formats. I do believe that something good comes out of every situation. Sometimes it takes us a long time to see it but something good always pushes the ashes. In our crisis situation, a new world order is forming and to be fair, it is long overdue.
The lockdown has hit the arts sector hard; most arts practitioners are self employed and the work has dried up overnight. The government has put together a package for self employed workers who currently are unable to work and the arts community has come together to support each other and provide new ways of connecting people together for projects. There has been a mixed reaction to this government deal, but to be fair an offer of financial help is better than no offer at all, even if it doesn’t come as quickly as we would like it to. I also speak from a very different point of view, in the last 13 years, I have had two major low points where my business collapsed and the circumstances that surrounded these low points were totally out of my control. There was no government help, no union support and a lot of colleagues fled. For me, the good that came out of it was a resigned resilience and I learnt who was really for me. It left me with a small but extremely committed group of friends and colleagues which is better than what I had before. If you’re going to work in the arts, you need to be resilient, focused and flexible.
It was during these low points that I began to pray that things would change in the self employed and arts sectors. I do believe that the crisis we are currently in lead us to a new way of working and will also open the door for artists and musicians to campaign for a better working conditions and deals. The plight of artists has been publicly acknowledged and this platform will help to campaign for better working conditions and employment deals in the future.
The necessity for the arts and its role in society has been brought to people’s attention during the lockdown. How many of us has listened to some music, read a book or watch a film or TV show during this time? Yep all of us. Without the arts, life would be dull, lack colour and also insight. Not only are the arts part of our entertainment, but they are also essential for good mental health, understanding concepts and culture, and provoking thought and conversation. The arts are often seen as frivolous and expendable, however they need to be protected for their philosophical and spiritual values. At some point everyday, we reach for something creative to inspire and motivate us.
In recent years, the financial and management sides of the creative industry have been abused and ripped apart. Much of this is being exposed and brought to light; we’ve watched as major figures have fallen from grace and organisations have collapsed. Artists have had to work for free, and I can’t tell you the amount of times I’ve been asked to perform for free or to give my music away. Creative enterprises have been devalued to zero. Maybe this period of introspection will bring a realisation that this can’t continue; we have to build an industry that is sustainable and fair for artists. There’s an opportunity to raise up pioneers who are passionate about encouraging and developing a wide range of genres disciplines and creating new platforms. Whatever we feel about this dark season, it won’t last forever. The temporary cessation is harmful to the arts industry in the short term, but in the long term it could actually bring about good for creatives.
We all go through times when we feel as though we’re not achieving very much. We continually show up, put in the hours, the effort, the thought, and yet nothing seems to grow or change. In my own life, I’ve been through a long period of working very hard and seeing very little in terms of results or progression. If anything, a lot of my work has been met with opposition and setbacks, however, after a lot of reflection I’ve always come to the conclusion that it is better to keep going. If it makes me happy then it is worth it!
Earlier this year, I was given a prophetic word from a woman I don’t know. She told me that she could see that my artistic work had grown in a way that I couldn’t see, despite the setbacks and problems she could see growth and life. She described seeing plants that became “tall trees” and was encouraging me to understand that even though I couldn’t see the influence my artistic output was having, it was indeed having an effect far wider than I can see. And that’s what this new song Tall Trees is all about…
We have an idea, a plan, a vision, but the daily grind of bringing that idea to pass can make us lose sight of the vision at large. Sometimes people don’t support the vision we have or don’t see it as necessary for helping others. They cannot understand that God might want to work in a way that is outside of their understanding or world view. It’s in these times that we need to focus on what God has said to us and keep going.
I’ve found over the years that I have questioned whether I understood God’s plan correctly. Did I get it wrong or mishear what he said? However, it’s the gentle encouragements that the input is making a difference that have kept me going. The unexpected emails or social media comments that take me by surprise; little hidden gems that remind me that I am doing the right thing. It’s important to keep chipping away at the task, as small things add up to make a big difference. We often think we know how God will bring a vision or idea to pass, but in reality God does things outside of our own understanding and perspective. That doesn’t mean that it will be less than we expect, the Lord always gives more than we hope for, but he is also interested in the journey to the destination as it helps us become more like him.
Strong, tall trees don’t grow overnight and deep roots grow in the dark soil. It’s the same when we’re building with God, it can take years of toiling away before we see fruit of what he showed us years before. Although the process can be disheartening and gruelling, the end result is worth it. The difficult and challenging seasons are designed to give a us a great story to share with others. I wrote Tall Trees as a reminder to myself to keep moving with the word that God gave me many years ago. It’s a challenge to myself to keep being creative and faithful to God. So don’t be afraid to keep moving forward and make the next chapter of your story…
Listen and buy the song here
Sometimes you look back at a song and realise that you have been trying to tell yourself something for a long time. A situation you need to put right, something that you need to do, someone or something that is doing you no good that you need to let go of or even congratulating yourself because you have done really well. Little fragments of our inner thoughts seep into our work and ferment while we are unaware.
As a songwriter, I always want to write music that moves people with lyrics that make them think. That’s always been my goal, to give people a song that is valuable to them and that they can hold onto. Lyrics and music can be so intrinsically linked that they can move us on a spiritual level. Every artist wants to connect with their audience, but if you can share something in common from experience you have a much deeper connection.
Recently I found this video clip of comedy actor Jim Carrey talking about his other passion in life, art. I was really intrigued by something he says about the path of creative discovery:
“You really don’t know what a sculpture or a painting totally means, you think you do. Most of the time I start out with a plan and then in like a year later I’ll realise that the painting what I needed to know about myself before.”
Sometimes when we create, we start by giving our audience a message but more often than not, we we find out something about ourselves. Six years ago I wrote the song Close That Door, I was actually writing about two different situations that two of my friends were finding themselves in. None of it was pretty and they both had come to the end of themselves and needed to close the door on those situations. What I didn’t know at the time was that I was actually prophesying to myself about something that needed to happen in my own life. I need to close a door, a chapter, a lifestyle and move on into new things. As I was going through the season of transition and change, one of my closest friends pointed out that I had already told myself that this new season was coming and to let go of the old so that I could embrace the new things ahead of me. That was a bit of a shocker at the time! But now I understand it was coming from a place of being led by God into a new season. He likes to prepare us before he makes changes, it’s part of his promise to always be with us.
“What I needed to know about myself before…” Life is a constant journey of growing, reflecting, making mistakes, celebrating victories but we learn so much about ourselves by contemplating on where we are and how we are dealing with our current moment. Jim acknowledges that his art is therapeutic and helps him process his emotions and experiences, but also that each piece of work contains part of him and his life journey. There are so many different ways that God can speak to us and this really is just scratching the surface of what artists, musicians, and writers channel through their creations. What I’m trying to say is that art isn’t just for an audience, it helps the artist hear what they need to know…
A few weeks ago I performed at a house concert in Aylesbury. We had a full house as it sold out! They were such a lovely crowd of people from all over Buckinghamshire. I really enjoy these concerts as there is a lot of interaction from the audience; it’s an intimate gig as the audience only had ten people in it! As well as hearing the stories behind the songs, people ask me questions and talk about how the songs make them feel. That’s such a privilege for an artist; a real opportunity to find out how people are reacting to my work. I also played some of my new songs: it’s always nerve-wracking playing a song in public for the first time as you’re never sure if people will like it. You learn very quickly whether a song is hitting the spot or whether it needs work! Of course, I sang some of the old favourites as well and everyone joined in.
If you’re interested in me performing at a house concert or event, please email me.
So how many times in the last week have you thought “how will I ever get this done?” or “just give me a break” or “why are you so hard on me?”. Social media platforms show everyone’s perfect life with their perfect friends and family. But let’s be fair about this, most of what we see on social media is an edit of what it really happening in someone’s life. I think what gets me the most is the amount of judgement against each other’s life choices. We all do it from time to time without being aware of it. However, some people, through lack of understanding, can be quite condemning of situations that are different from their own. Our paths in life are all different and rightly so, we are unique, not one of us is the same, so how could we all walk the same path?
If I’m totally honest, I became tired of other people’s expectations of me. We live in a society that can push motherhood towards perfection and disallows women to flourish outside of that role. Every women’s experience of motherhood is different and like a lot of women, single motherhood was never part of my plan, but it’s a thousand times better than the situation I was in before. We’ve seen the backlash to this movement in popular books such as “Why Mummy Drinks” by Gill Sims and the rise of social media stars such as Kristina Kuzmic, who celebrate their humanity by stating that it’s ok to not be a perfect mother.
If anything, I wanted this song to point out that it’s ok to live our lives in a way that works for us. Being hard on other people doesn’t make them aspire to live differently, more over that they feel condemned by it. People thrive when they are loved and respected, not put down and judged. Positive attitudes bring hope to a situation, and encourage people to keep going when times are tough. And let’s face it, being a parent is never-ending hard work, full of challenges and rewards.
So this song is a shout out to all the women making life happen. Those who work, parent, mentor, cook, clean, create, nurture, manage, plan, care and hold it all together for others. Those who rise to the challenge and and keep going no matter what. You rock!
You can download the mp3 from iTunes, Amazon and Bandcamp. Or listen on Spotify and Apple Music. Remember, every time you buy music from an independent artist, you’re contributing resources for them to make more music in the future.
Download the single here…
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My hands smell of bleach and I’m wondering if I remembered to register an ISRC code with PPL. My son is waving a school form in his hand and I’ve just received an email from a radio station about airplay. This request then makes me have a slight panic as I realise that I haven’t prepared the EPK (electronic press kit) for the single. There’s laundry everywhere and I haven’t done my invoicing. This is the day to day reality of being an artist in 2019. I’m a mother, a singer-songwriter, a friend, a painter, a daughter, a writer, a sister and my manager all rolled into one. Everyday I spin plates to make things work at home and at work.
There are lots of romantic notions about artists and how they live. As though we spend our days drinking coffee and pondering life’s realities whilst creating something beautiful in a loft apartment. For me, this couldn’t be farther from the truth. Yes I do drink a lot of coffee and I do spend a lot of thinking, but my life is surrounded my other elements as well. I’m a single mother of two children, I live in a terraced house in a market town, I have a job as well as running a business. I’ve learnt to be creative in small pockets of time, whilst cooking the dinner or after I’ve put the kids to bed, while there’s an hour of quiet or while I’m sat on a train to town. In fact, large spaces of time seem intimidating now; they have no structure, no deadline to spur me on. That one hour slot of time makes me seize the day and be decisive in my work and thinking. Before I had children I could waste hours on projects that didn’t really go anywhere. Juggling family life and work has made me more focused on what I want.
From the outside, my day must look haphazard and chaotic. Sometimes as I’m being creative, other ideas spring to mind and I have to shelve them so that I can get on with my day. I used to find this frustrating but more recently I’ve found that it makes me hone in on what I really want and what will work. It makes me work savvy. The chaos adds to the creativity; it’s a constant stream of ideas.
Sometimes you have to be forgiving of situations that arise that you have no control over. Sometimes projects get delayed, or they change. Sometimes things just don’t get done. Life will take over. The secret is not to be too hard yourself and ride the wave as it comes towards you.
If anything I want to encourage you to create and work in whatever circumstance you find yourself in. There will never be a perfect time to create. An idea has to lift off the ground at some point. If you wait for that perfect moment, you will miss an opportunity. I used have have an office to work in; over time that office has become a bedroom for one of my children. This morning I answered my emails at a small workspace in my kitchen; it’s also where I paint. Yesterday I worked on a recording of a new song; no fancy office, I curled on the sofa with my laptop. It’s less than ideal, but if you want something bad enough, you will find a way to make it happen. It takes resilience and tenacity to work through the challenges, but it is worth it in the end. It is possible to balance family life and work space.
All dreams start from small beginnings. A humble seed may take years to grow, but it can grow into a mighty oak tree. So while I’m writing this blog, my hands smell of bleach from cleaning the sink, I’m uploading a song to a music distributer and the washing machine is on in the background. It’s all in a day’s work and I love it! Don’t let the excuses stop you from creating.
Where do the years go? Fifteen years ago on Saturday 5 June 2004, I released my first Album Conversations With The Heart. It seems like a lifetime ago now, but that album came into being by chance. I was studying for a music degree at the time and was writing bits and pieces in between that and music teaching.
A friend of mine asked me to perform at New Eden Music Festival in Torquay in the summer of 2003 and after the performance I bumped into some old friends who were also recording their work. Those are lifetime friends, Peter and Debs Brazier. A quick conversation and a swap of contact details led to me sending Pete some home demos of my songs. Before I knew it was was standing in their dining room in Paignton, singing into a microphone. I faithfully trudged up and down from North London to Paignton with piano in the boot of my car for a weekend of recording many times over a period months until the project was finished. The whole project was made on the tiniest of budgets and a lot of tea from Debs! The artwork was created by Andrew Wainwright, a friend from music college.
The album launch took place on a very hot evening at St Margaret’s Church, Uxbridge and from memory we had about eighty people there. It wasn’t just me performing that night, Sheryl Anne Ashton also sang some solos and then joined me for some duets. It’s so great to be able to perform and make music with friends!
And here I am these years on, still proudly an independent artist. I’ve had dalliances with record companies but I’ve never been made a sensible offer (just ridiculous ones!). Two albums, four EPs and lots of singles later. Still making music myself, still finding new ways to make it work. Here’s to the next fifteen years…
What would you like to hear from me?
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It’s a new season and it’s time for new things. I’ve been thinking about doing things differently and new goals. Over the last decade, a lot of my projects have been produced by other people, which I have loved and it’s been a great experience! However, I haven’t had chance to have creative control over my music for a long time, so my next project will be produced by me! After writing songs for the Centre For Buckinghamshire Studies last year, it gave me taste for producing my own music again and having that creative control which can sometimes be lost in corporate production. I made a decision that I wanted to be able to involve my fan base and supporters in the actual creation of the music. In the past I’ve had a call out for stories for songs from fans and then created music from their ideas; this time, the songs are based on my experiences and will feature the backing vocals of others. Part of being an artist, is being able to let go of what we’re creating and let outside influences join in shaping those ideas without losing the original vision.
The first song I’m working on is called Womankind which looks at the aspects and personhood of being female. I have strong female characters in my present and past that have influenced my life, and a story of my own that has led to who am I, and that really is where this song begins. My own experience of being female has balanced between being resolutely strong and empathetically vulnerable. Like all women, I’ve played a variety of roles simultaneously: daughter, sister, aunt, mother, friend, lover, ex-wife, colleague, confidant and the list goes on… The role of women is often down-played and lost in society and I want to highlight the essential nature of what women provide and bring to our culture. This album will very much feature our contribution.
One of the greatest gifts that we receive from God is knowing who we are and having the space and opportunity to explore and find that out throughout life. I am very proud to be a woman and believe that we should increase the volume of voice in our communities and push forward for as many opportunities as possible. If we have learnt anything from our female predecessors, it’s that tenacity, strength, and perseverance eventually open doors to equality and that we have the right to obtain the same roles and levels as our male counterparts.
Over to you… I need as many women of all ages and backgrounds as possible to record themselves saying a set of words that I will incorporate into the song. You don’t need to sing the words, just speak them. Most mobile phones have recording devices on them, and all you need to do is recording yourself saying the words and then email the mp3 to me. It only takes about 5 minutes to record and your name will be listed on the album cover. If you would like to be involved, please email me and I will send you the words to say. Also, if you have words based on your own experience that you want to incorporate into the song, that would be most welcome…