Where do the years go? Fifteen years ago on Saturday 5 June 2004, I released my first Album Conversations With The Heart. It seems like a lifetime ago now, but that album came into being by chance. I was studying for a music degree at the time and was writing bits and pieces in between that and music teaching. 

A friend of mine asked me to perform at New Eden Music Festival in Torquay in the summer of 2003 and after the performance I bumped into some old friends who were also recording their work. Those are lifetime friends, Peter and Debs Brazier. A quick conversation and a swap of contact details led to me sending Pete some home demos of my songs. Before I knew it was was standing in their dining room in Paignton, singing into a microphone. I faithfully trudged up and down from North London to Paignton with piano in the boot of my car for a weekend of recording many times over a period months until the project was finished. The whole project was made on the tiniest of budgets and a lot of tea from Debs! The artwork was created by Andrew Wainwright, a friend from music college.

The album launch took place on a very hot evening at St Margaret’s Church, Uxbridge and from memory we had about eighty people there. It wasn’t just me performing that night, Sheryl Anne Ashton also sang some solos and then joined me for some duets. It’s so great to be able to perform and make music with friends! 

And here I am these years on, still proudly an independent artist. I’ve had dalliances with record companies but I’ve never been made a sensible offer (just ridiculous ones!). Two albums, four EPs and lots of singles later. Still making music myself, still finding new ways to make it work. Here’s to the next fifteen years… 

What would you like to hear from me?

Join my angels here.

It’s a new season and it’s time for new things. I’ve been thinking about doing things differently and new goals. Over the last decade, a lot of my projects have been produced by other people, which I have loved and it’s been a great experience! However, I haven’t had chance to have creative control over my music for a long time, so my next project will be produced by me!  After writing songs for the Centre For Buckinghamshire Studies last year, it gave me taste for producing my own music again and having that creative control which can sometimes be lost in corporate production. I made a decision that I wanted to be able to involve my fan base and supporters in the actual creation of the music. In the past I’ve had a call out for stories for songs from fans and then created music from their ideas; this time, the songs are based on my experiences and will feature the backing vocals of others. Part of being an artist, is being able to let go of what we’re creating and let outside influences join in shaping those ideas without losing the original vision. 

The first song I’m working on is called Womankind which looks at the aspects and personhood of being female. I have strong female characters in my present and past that have influenced my life, and a story of my own that has led to who am I, and that really is where this song begins. My own experience of being female has balanced between  being resolutely strong and empathetically vulnerable. Like all women, I’ve played a variety of roles simultaneously: daughter, sister, aunt, mother, friend, lover, ex-wife, colleague, confidant and the list goes on… The role of women is often down-played and lost in society and I want to highlight the essential nature of what women provide and bring to our culture. This album will very much feature our contribution. 

One of the greatest gifts that we receive from God is knowing who we are and having the space and opportunity to explore and find that out throughout life. I am very proud to be a woman and believe that we should increase the volume of voice in our communities and push forward for as many opportunities as possible. If we have learnt anything from our female predecessors, it’s that tenacity, strength, and perseverance eventually open doors to equality and that we have the right to obtain the same roles and levels as our male counterparts. 

Over to you… I need as many women of all ages and backgrounds as possible to record themselves saying a set of words that I will incorporate into the song. You don’t need to sing the words, just speak them. Most mobile phones have recording devices on them, and all you need to do is recording yourself saying the words and then email the mp3 to me. It only takes about 5 minutes to record and your name will be listed on the album cover.  If you would like to be involved, please email me and I will send you the words to say. Also, if you have words based on your own experience that you want to incorporate into the song, that would be most welcome…

I’ve waited a long time to write this blog; seven years to be precise! Seven long years. We all have a dreams of things that we would like to do and sometimes we get the opportunity to do them. The saddest thing is when one of those dreams is struggling and no matter what we do, it doesn’t survive and eventually dies. It can be a game changer; it affects your perspective on life and can make you retreat from other opportunities for fear of getting hurt.

In 2012, I was offered the opportunity to perform my songs with a jazz orchestra. It was a dream gig, I’d waited all my life for it and I was going to make it happen! The early discussions went well, and I was ever hopeful that the concert would take place within six months. However, over time the project began to disappear, no matter what I did I couldn’t make it work. The dream concert was long gone, and my music career seemed to be dead. I asked God to put it right and bring the project to fruition, but nothing happened. Things went from bad to worse, my business collapsed, my marriage failed and my living arrangements were insecure again. I never knew that life could go so low so fast. It all changed in an instant.

Last year, my colleague and long standing friend, Rachael Forsyth, contacted me and asked if she could pitch the project to an orchestra again and also do the jazz arrangements of my songs. My initial reaction was that it wasn’t sure that I wanted to go through all the disappointment again, however, that thought of “if I don’t try, I’ll never know” crept in and I decided to be brave and give it a go. Over a period of six months we plodded through arrangements and emails, and we wondered if it would ever come together. At one point it actually looked as though the whole thing would fall apart again and Rachael and I prepared ourselves that it might not happen.

But that’s not the way God works. He specialises in bringing dead things back to life. After seven years of waiting, wondering, praying and hoping, I will be performing with the English Jazz Orchestra on Thursday 14 March. I can’t believe it’s taken this long, but those prayers that I prayed seven years ago are finally being answered. Just because something looks dead doesn’t mean that it is. Sometimes God waits so things are better, the timing is right and our character has developed enough for us to deal with it. Sometimes he removes things that are in the way or that will destroy the dream, so that when the dream buds, it can flourish and grow without being choked. Although this seems strange, all those things happened for my good. That part of my life died so that better, greater things could come. Sometimes God allows these things to happen so that he can realign us with his plan for our lives and also his timing (which is never our timing!).

In another strange twist of events, I received an email today saying that a song I sent to a DJ three years ago, is now being played on his podcast this month. I’d actually forgotten that I sent it off to the radio show! It’s like the song was waiting for right moment.

So I hope you can join me for this amazing evening St Lukes Church in Enfield with the English Jazz Orchestra (ENJO)! Tickets are available here

A friend recently challenged me to write more about the reality of being an artist. And to be honest this is something that I dread, cause no-one likes a whiner… Often that’s how artist lives come across, but the reality is that being an artist is HARD. It is not for the faint-hearted, or the fame hungry. It requires commitment, huge personal cost and you lose friends along the way. But that’s where music fans come in, they are committed, altruistic and are prepared to dream with the artist. They are often the backbone of the artists’s work and career, they provide support encouragement and resources. So here are five things you need to know about being a music fan:

You mean the world to the artist. Yes really you do. You are part of the songwriter’s journey and they are thinking about what they want to convey to you when they are writing a new song. Every time you comment on a social media post, buy a CD or download a single, read a blog or share their music with someone new, you support the artist in ways you cannot imagine. When a songwriter shares new music with her fan base, it brings the music to life. So don’t forget to share the artist’s work, buy the music and tell your mates about it.

Artists love it when you interact with them. It helps them to know when their music is reaching people and who it is impacting. They love it when you get involved with music and are part of the creative process; it can be inspirational and add new dimensions to the work. We’re so lucky with social media that we can do this quite easily and regularly. At some point in their careers, most artists will experience loneliness and depression, especially when writing a new project. It can be a solitary time when you’re working away on a song or on the road touring. Over the years I’ve become great friends with some of my long term fans; they are the ones who know about the latest project before anyone else. Some of them have even suggested subjects for me to write about it. Thanks to technology and social media, the era of the inaccessible artist is long gone – get interacting! 

Buying the artist’s music is a game changer. Yes, I know artists aren’t meant to talk about money. However, the sum goes like this: no money = no music. Sad but true. It costs a lot of money to write, record and produce music and most artists pay for it out of their own pockets at great personal cost. Sadly in the current era, music doesn’t sell as most people listen to it for free on Youtube or stream it through platforms such as Apple Music or Spotify. These platforms are good in terms of getting music out to a broader audience, however they pay peanuts, far less than the single actually being downloaded directly from the artist. It’s a costly business and can mean that a lot of artists live below the poverty line in order to support their work. Buying a single, CD, T shirt or supporting their crowdfunding campaign makes all the difference. 

Your RSVP is a confidence booster. Turning up to a concert, interview or Facebook Live makes it all worth while. Releasing new music takes guts. Mosts artists are nervous about new projects, they’ve poured their heart and soul into it but they’ve no idea how it will be received. When you turn up to an event, you’re giving your seal of support and approval. A fan’s interaction can be make or break for a project or even a career. Booking agents look for acts that have an active, attentive fan base, who will turn up to concerts and bring crowd with them. RSVPing and be there, makes all the difference…

Sing! Dance! Enjoy! We make the music, the art, the shows for YOU. Enjoy the opportunity to learn more about the artist and the music. Enjoy the recordings, the live shows and the interviews. Enjoy every moment of it; life is too short not to enjoy each other’s gifts and talents. Thank you for all support, the music and the future!

All For Love is the last single commissioned by the Centre For Buckinghamshire Studies as part of The Great War Showcase that has been shown around the county throughout 2018 to mark the centenary of the end of the war. This song is based on the last words of Captain Francis Grenfell from Beaconsfield. He and his twin brother, Rivy both fought in World War One and were injured in combat. Rivy made it home, but sadly Francis died early on in the war. 

On 25 May 1915, Francis endured a German chlorine gas attack and was also shot through the heart. His last words to his squadron were, “tell them I died happy, loving them all.” These words inspired this new song, they got me thinking about love and what that means. How far we will go for others and country? What will we sacrifice so that others can have freedom and peace? Would we die for freedom? Sobering thoughts that make me wonder if we take our freedom for granted. 

The single is available on iTunes, Amazon, Bandcamp, Spotify and Apple Music. You can also watch the video here…

 

Yesterday I hit a wall with the lyrics for a new song. I stared at the same piece of paper for two hours. I played the same part for two hours. NOTHING. Typically the week before I’d written 90% of the song and then got stuck on the last two lines. For many songwriters, this is the point that is “make or break” as to whether a song will be finished or not. I played the song over and over in the hope that something would materialise, but no. In the end I did a Facebook Live session about my frustration (you can watch it here) and it turns out that many of you have been through the same frustrations.

There seems to be a perception that songwriters just write a hit song in ten minutes and its complete. In reality, there’s a lot of blood, sweat and tears behind each song. There’s more than an element of truth in the saying 10% inspiration, 90% perspiration. Often with lyrics, the version that lands up in the published domain will have had umpteen rewrites and edits to get to the final product.

So a morning was wasted. Or was it? It’s in these times of perceived lack of growth that our giftings really develop. We learn perseverance, tenacity, patience; all good fertilizers for creativity and art. We learn how to how practise our gifting: we can have all the talent in the world but if we don’t practise songwriting, our talent will never grow and flourish. We look for new ways of doing things, we try new techniques and we seek to understand the purpose of the barren season. We also learn to make the most of what we’ve got; I got two hours of piano practise out of my wasted lyrics session. That’s two hours of practise that I hadn’t planned but happened anyway.

So how did I break out of this lyrical dead end? A change of scene always helps; I went for a drive and a walk and cleared my mind of all the clutter. I pondered on what the song was really about… Had I conveyed the theme adequately in the current lyrics? Was there more that I needed to say? I also have several notebooks and cloud storage with ideas for songs which I plundered through looking for inspiration. Sometimes something that I scribbled down three years ago has relevance for the current song topic, so it’s worthwhile keeping old ideas for future projects. A couple of days later I wrote down a random idea that turned out to be the missing lyrics. Once the pressure was removed from the situation, there were the words waiting for me.

What I’m trying to say here is that all experiences whether bad or good can lead to growth and development. It’s the ability to keep going through barren seasons that lead us to have expertise in our field and the tenacity to deal with whatever our craft throws at us. Although we may want to quit and have an easy life, we gain more from continuing and seeing the task through. In The Artist’s Way, Julia Cameron talks about the “daily pages” where she writes down everything on her mind each day. I can’t say that I’ve ever had the time to do this, but I can see the value in practising a creative art form daily. If you are in the habit of writing, then you are more likely to prioritise it, and it becomes part of your daily or weekly routine. The same is true for any art form or project that you’re working on. So as I said in my Facebook live video, don’t quit, keep going, deal with where you are, find a way to make it work and the rest will follow.

You can listen to the new song You’re So Hard On Me here.