Sometimes God likes to remind us how powerful He is. We think that we are too far gone, and that we have missed His plan for our lives. The situation seems impossible and we believe that nothing can change. Sometimes the vision He has given us for us lives seems so outlandish that we believe that it can never happen. We’re in the wrong place, doing the wrong thing, we don’t know anyone who has the contacts to help us. Our perception of God becomes limited to what we can see. 

And that’s when God likes to remind us that He hasn’t forgot us, that He can do anything and bring the most unlikely of people together. On Saturday night, the doorbell rang and on the other side of the door was the much expected Tesco delivery man. What wasn’t expected, was the conversation that ensued whilst he unpacked my food order. After apologising for being half an hour early, and me saying “oh that’s fine, I needed a break from editing a song”, we discovered that we both had something in common: MUSIC. Turns out that he’s a sound engineer and mixes and masters a lot of projects for the BBC and local radio. Somewhat downcast, he then said “I expect you’re wondering why I’m working for Tesco”, I replied, “not really, lots of people in the music industry have several jobs. Helps to pay the bills”. And at the point, he relaxed and his story came tumbling out… 

Turns out he needed some encouragement and to hear that it’s ok to have multiple, different streams of income. He needed someone to say that they understood how hard the music industry can be and that he’s not alone. We talked about the seasonal nature of life and that low points can often to be a blessing as they lead us to make changes that create new seasons and creativity in our lives. I was rather surprised to be having this conversation on my doorstep; I hadn’t thought I’d be discussing this in my slippers whilst checking if my favourite crisps had been delivered but evidently it was a divine appointment which was beneficial for both of us. 

What God was reminding me, is that He isn’t limited by our location or condition. He can bring two people together and make His will happen. Divine connections can happen in the strangest of places, and when we least expect it. He doesn’t need us to try and engineer these meetings, He’s got it all under control. Some of these encounters are short lived and serve to encourage us, while others have a lasting effect and are to bring us into opportunities and seasons of life. The important thing is to be prepared for the unexpected, we never know when God will want us to help someone or to be available to make something happen. Whilst He doesn’t need our help, He loves to partner with us so that we can see how powerful and great He is. It’s often in the smallest of details that we realise that God loves us and has a plan for our lives. Often what keeps life exciting, is the encounters that makes us say “I wasn’t expecting that…”

I’ve waited a long time to write this blog; seven years to be precise! Seven long years. We all have a dreams of things that we would like to do and sometimes we get the opportunity to do them. The saddest thing is when one of those dreams is struggling and no matter what we do, it doesn’t survive and eventually dies. It can be a game changer; it affects your perspective on life and can make you retreat from other opportunities for fear of getting hurt.

In 2012, I was offered the opportunity to perform my songs with a jazz orchestra. It was a dream gig, I’d waited all my life for it and I was going to make it happen! The early discussions went well, and I was ever hopeful that the concert would take place within six months. However, over time the project began to disappear, no matter what I did I couldn’t make it work. The dream concert was long gone, and my music career seemed to be dead. I asked God to put it right and bring the project to fruition, but nothing happened. Things went from bad to worse, my business collapsed, my marriage failed and my living arrangements were insecure again. I never knew that life could go so low so fast. It all changed in an instant.

Last year, my colleague and long standing friend, Rachael Forsyth, contacted me and asked if she could pitch the project to an orchestra again and also do the jazz arrangements of my songs. My initial reaction was that it wasn’t sure that I wanted to go through all the disappointment again, however, that thought of “if I don’t try, I’ll never know” crept in and I decided to be brave and give it a go. Over a period of six months we plodded through arrangements and emails, and we wondered if it would ever come together. At one point it actually looked as though the whole thing would fall apart again and Rachael and I prepared ourselves that it might not happen.

But that’s not the way God works. He specialises in bringing dead things back to life. After seven years of waiting, wondering, praying and hoping, I will be performing with the English Jazz Orchestra on Thursday 14 March. I can’t believe it’s taken this long, but those prayers that I prayed seven years ago are finally being answered. Just because something looks dead doesn’t mean that it is. Sometimes God waits so things are better, the timing is right and our character has developed enough for us to deal with it. Sometimes he removes things that are in the way or that will destroy the dream, so that when the dream buds, it can flourish and grow without being choked. Although this seems strange, all those things happened for my good. That part of my life died so that better, greater things could come. Sometimes God allows these things to happen so that he can realign us with his plan for our lives and also his timing (which is never our timing!).

In another strange twist of events, I received an email today saying that a song I sent to a DJ three years ago, is now being played on his podcast this month. I’d actually forgotten that I sent it off to the radio show! It’s like the song was waiting for right moment.

So I hope you can join me for this amazing evening St Lukes Church in Enfield with the English Jazz Orchestra (ENJO)! Tickets are available here

We live in a society that expects everything instantly. Everything is on demand: TV, films, music, food delivery within the hour, 24 hour shopping. Nothing is out of reach. You want it, you got it. This translates into several other areas of our lives too – we expect to have a good life from a young age. At 18, you should know what you want to do with your life and have the school grades to open doors. By 30, you should have a career, financial security. And so it goes on: marriage, mortgage, kids and life sown up by 40… Modern life wants us to have everything when we’re young; prosperity is a sign that we’ve “made it” and have “success”. 

However, what modern life doesn’t account for, is that we might not be ready or mature enough to receive the things we want. Character and strength take years to develop, and not necessarily through times of ease and joy. Perseverance and wisdom come through trials and times when our backs are up against the wall. If we don’t have the right character, there’s no way we can carry the new in depth experiences or the rewards that we have worked for. We have to learn to steward these things, and steward them well. This means accepting that there is more to life than us. Others may benefit from our experiences and blessings. It’s good to share the joy and rewards as this spreads encouragement and hope. 

If we have everything now, there’s nothing to look forward to later. Life events need to be measured out at a life long pace. It’s not that these events will be equally spaced out, but divinely placed for the right time. Often we have an inkling or desire that is an indication of our destiny, a foretaste of what’s to come that keeps us on track and moving in the right direction. The world wants us to have the mentality of the child in a sweet shop, while God wants us to look to him and trust that he will bring good things at the right time. 

A few weeks ago, I was sketching some ideas for a project and when I started to draw the featured picture. I knew immediately that it was for one of my friends who supports my work, so I sent it to her the next day. She was amazed because she had been discussing the idea of God “saving the best till last” the very same day. In John 2, the wedding party are expecting to have the best wine first but when they run out of wine, Jesus surprises them by turning water into the finest quality wine. He uses a dead end situation to perform a miracle, and to create the miracle, he uses the most mundane thing, water. If he can do that at a joyful event such as a wedding, he will do the same for us in the most dire of situations too. He can take our “nothing” and turn it into a miracle. 

It’s OK to take our time and wait for good things rather than mediocre things. We often settle for what seems good but actually isn’t God’s best for us. Long term these things can harm us, or stunt our growth and relationship with him. All that glitters is not gold, and we can miss out on some exciting things by taking matters into our own hands.  Sometimes things end suddenly or don’t end well and we’re shocked at the change of path. A bad season isn’t forever, everything has an expiration date and life can turn around for the better. Patience and discernment lead to good things, character strength and an exciting future. God is always saving the best till last.  

Illustration: Save The Best Till Last by Helen Sanderson-White (Copyright 2018 Helen Sanderson-White. Do not reproduce without permission).

 

Sometimes we wait and wait and wait, and then we wait some more. We begin to wonder if this is it? Will things ever change and move on? We all go through times when life changes unexpectedly. Dreams die, seasons change and we find that we are not where we thought we would be. Hope gets deferred while we go into self preservation mode. We become too scared to dream or hope for something new or dare I say, exciting. The scenery has changed to something we weren’t expecting. 

And then we remember all the things that God promises, and for a few moments we know that God won’t leave the story like this. If anything, we know that God loves to show off and show how involved he is in our lives. This can’t possibly be all there is? Yet there is still some waiting to do. We wonder why we are still waiting, seeing no change but believing for good things. It’s in the silence that we really learn who we are. If we submit to God, our faith deepens and our vanity is challenged by his supremacy. If God loves us enough to let his Son suffer to the point of death and to hell and back again, then surely he loves us enough to restore the things that have been destroyed. 

I have discovered on my journey through this period in my life that I need to prophesy hope to the dead areas of my life. To speak out positively against the crap and dead ends. To take each days as it comes. I suffered decades of abuse, divorce, failed projects and businesses that flailed, colleagues and friends who fled at the first sign of trouble. I hit rock bottom and realised that I was about to become jobless and homeless. I thought I would never survive yet somehow I’m still here taking each day as it comes. 

What a waste, right? All those hopes, dreams and relationships gone to the wall. Maybe not. I hope not. Sometimes things have to die so that they can be reborn in a new way, a stronger way. Often a period of death is actually a period of transition to greater things. A time to grow and change in preparation for what is to come. Although I don’t know how things will turn out, I’ve decided to enjoy finding out! God often allows things to be removed from our lives so that He can replace them with greater things. The journey brings us closer to him and in line with His will for our lives. It’s not that he wants to see us suffer but rather that He wants us grow closer to Him, so that we become more like Him. 

So on days when things seem hopeless and bleak, I remember that this is not the end of the story…

The best is yet to come. 

 

Painting: Walking Towards The Light by Helen Sanderson-White (Copyright 2017 Helen Sanderson-White. Do not reproduce without permission).

Questions? Oh I’ve got lots of them…

Do you seek an answer, do you miss a piece?

A few weeks ago I did my first concert after a long break. It was nine months since my previous gig and it felt strange to be preparing to perform again. Although, having sung in public since I was three years old, it was like greeting an old friend again. Even life punctuated by music must include periods of rest if the sound is to be of quality. Preparing for this concert was a real journey, I went through folder after folder of material looking for songs to perform. I started with rather a small list but by the end of the week, I had far more material than I had bargained for.

One of the songs that was really popular at the concert was Do You Seek An Answer from At Second Glance. It raised quite a reaction from the audience that was unanimous: life brings us more questions than answers. I wrote that song in 2008 in a period of my life that brought many questions as I watched both friends, family and myself go through difficult times. Prayers that were either unanswered or answered in a way that wasn’t expected, hopes dashed and resurrected, and situations that seemed unfair or unpredictable. Experience tells me that God allows us to walk through these seasons of unanswered questions to help our faith grow. He is far more interested in a relationship with us, than answering a shopping list of needs. It’s not that he doesn’t want to meet those needs (and in some way he always does), it’s that he wants us to get to know him and for our character to grow to be more like him. It’s the waiting with expectancy, the dwelling on his word and the realisation that he wants good things for us that brings us in line with his character and will. If we wait for God and watch him, we experience peace, hope, strength and God’s vision for the future. When we are anxious, we’re exhibiting the symptoms of mistrust and attempting to carry the situation in our own hands.

Where there’s hope, there’s peace…

A few days ago I was watching my son walk down the road to school. His gait always entertains me, it’s filled with joy and fun as he gallops off in every direction. He’s at that age where he has no inhibitions. On this particular day he was enamoured with the blossom: “look mum, blossom snow”. He danced under a tree that was shedding is blossom and in that moment, I realised why I love his little gallop so much: it is full of hope and expectancy. There he was, dancing in the petals enjoying spring. Maybe that’s how we should be during these times of questions and no answers, expectant and full of hope. Happy to accept that God will move when he is ready, holding onto the peace that only he can give.  We’re not always meant to know the answers, but to trust that everything will come good in the end.

When we have faith then we’re strong…

To listen to Do You Seek An Answer, click here.