Tag: hope

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Many years ago, a friend said to me “don’t place a full stop, where God is placing a comma…”. A phrase that has stayed with me. Whenever I’m feeling defeated, this phrase comes to mind. A haunting reminder that we all too often cease walking in God’s plans for us. I’ve been through a season where I had to let go of things and let them drop to the ground in order to do the necessary tasks of life. It was unexpected. I hadn’t planned on not leading worship or being in the church band, but I haven’t been involved in that for 4 and a half years. However, by releasing this part of life, it has allowed me to concentrate on my family’s needs and bring us through some important milestones.

Similarly, I didn’t expect to stand the creative side of my business down for a while, I continued to teach singing and piano (31 years this year!) but the songwriting, blogs and painting needed to stop for some time. I have created a few things along the way but not my usual big projects. What I didn’t realise is that the combination of not performing, creating and worshipping would have an adverse effect on me. So much of who I am is bound up in those elements; I felt like I stopped being me. There was little joy and it changed my perspective on hope, as though I was seeing the world through a distorted lens. A lot of my raison d’être, drive and ambition is bound up in my creativity, my joie de vivre. Overtime, I began to wonder if it was possible to get my drive and creativity back.

There have also been some changes in my business: departures and arrivals. I decided to bring my Patreon journey to an end after seven years of creating. I had really enjoyed the process, made some fun things and met some new people, but it was time for something new. I’ve also started mentoring artists again, something which I love! It’s been a joy to walk alongside those who are starting out and are building from scratch and also working with those who are further down the road of the artistic journey who need direction and encouragement. These are interesting times to be an artist; there is less funding than ever in the UK, however people’s appetite for something of meaning is growing. In a world of turmoil, inspiring people has never been more important.

The artistic life can be a series of deaths and resurrections, each bringing a change of direction or simply helping us to return stronger than before. A renewed sense of purpose. This doesn’t negate the trauma that the death can cause but is realistic in that hope prevails. We shed the past and start anew. How many artists have given up because they didn’t understand the process of metamorphosis? At some point, every artist could do with a well-seasoned mentor. I wish I could have had one in my younger days but treading the path alone has taught me many valuable things which I now get to share with others.

All creativity needs a period of rest, a fallow time. As we rest, our strength grows. We need to gather strength to carry and bear the weight of the new projects yet to come. If we do not rest, we will fail. Before we start to carry greater artistry, we must prepare ourselves during the waiting time. Brains and bodies need time to recover, reflect, ruminate and revive to work well. If we don’t create space, the new ideas don’t have room to grow. Rest is essential for our own development.

So what now? New music beckons… I want to leave behind some of the songs of the past and write new material. There are songs that I wrote in the last 25 years that were right for the time but aren’t where I am now – I’ve outgrown them. It feels right to leave some of that era in the past and start again. I’m not saying that I won’t sing them ever again, but it’s time a draw a line in the sand and explore new worlds. I’m excited to continue to write songs and delve into new ideas and sounds. I’m 49 and starting the second half of life, there’s so much to discover by moving into a different season of life.

It’s so easy to assume that the rest is an ending, when we should be reminding ourselves that life comes around full circle. So here’s looking forward to future creative projects! If you’re in a period of confusion and can’t work out what the purpose of the season is, be kind to yourself and remember “don’t place a full stop, where God is placing a comma…”.

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A few weeks ago, I lost something dear to me. It’s trivial really, I lost my gym locker token which I’ve had for ten years. Despite not being worth much in monetary value, it has great sentimental value as it supports a charity that is local to where I live and has connections with my children. I was quite annoyed that it had disappeared and was surprised to feel sad about it. I searched everywhere but couldn’t find it, and eventually I became resigned to the fact that it was gone.  

This morning, I got in the car to drive to work and as I put my bag down on the the passenger seat, I could see something metallic poking out from the back of the seat: there nestled in the crease was my token! I’ve no idea how it got there; the last time I saw it was on the counter in my kitchen.  

As I picked the token and put it back in my purse, I felt the Lord say that what has been lost or stolen from my life will be restored to me; even things that seem insignificant or too small to be important will come back to me in time. Having been through decades of unexpected loss, this gave me great hope that the Lord is in the process of bringing change and restoration.  

I then saw a picture of two number eights next to each other. Biblically the number eight means new life, and two of them signifies double new life. I immediately thought of Job 42:10 (NIV): 

“After Job had prayed for his friends, the LORD restored his fortunes and gave him twice as much as he had before.”  

In the Old Testament, Job experienced great loss: he lost his health, wealth and children but he never lost his love for God and his willingness to follow him not matter how hard his life circumstances were. Job’s character was tested when his friends didn’t understand or help him; even God was angry with the way his friends lacked hope for his situation. However, Job had faith that God would restore his life and at the end of the book we’re told that when Job prayed for his friends, God restored everything he had lost by double the amount.  

I sense that many of us are coming to the end of hard seasons and trials. We may have lost a lot, but we have learnt plenty that will be useful for the season ahead. The Lord will restore double what we have lost and use what we have learnt to bring good in both our and others lives. The key to this double restoration is that we pray for those who have hurt us and forgive them. As we release these people and situations to the Lord, change will occur in unusual ways. Just as the token somehow made its way to my car, restoration will occur through people and places that we haven’t expected.  

As this season draws to a close, it’s time get our houses in order, release those who have wronged us and prepare ourselves for the double restoration that is coming to us. What was lost will be found again! 

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Back in March I was asked to sing at the From the Fragment to the Whole art event supporting survivors of domestic abuse. It was a privilege to share my story of escaping an abusive relationship 8 years ago and starting life over. The project provides art therapy through glass work and each participant is encouraged to create a piece that is hopeful marking a new start in life. We heard from the panel of a professionals who had supported and work on the project and  then had time to look at the creations. 

Well done to artist, Roberta DeCaro and also my good friend, Anya Sizer who is the Speaker for Hackney Council, for hosting the event and bringing people from all backgrounds together for a celebration of hope. The above video gives you a flavour of the evening and the work of the From the Fragment to the Whole art project.

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Twenty years ago, I lived in London and worked teaching music with churches and further education colleges. Most of my work was with underprivileged young people living in areas of deprivation and poverty. Wealthy, salubrious neighbourhoods bordered these city areas, yet for most of the teens and young adults I worked with, this lifestyle was out of reach. They had become accustomed to accepting that their career path would be crime. Shootings and violent attacks in the area happened with alarming regularity, gangs and drugs became an easy option for a living. 

As I reflected on this culture, I wondered how I would express the Gospel to young people who had never heard of Jesus. How would I explain the cross and resurrection to them? As I discussed this with my church youth group, the breakthrough moment came when one of the young people said that the highest honour in gang culture was to take a bullet for a friend. That was the way in for me to explain to an unchurched community what Jesus did for us through his death on the cross and the resurrection: he took the bullet for us, so that we can live with him forever.  

Sometimes we need to understand the culture we are living in so that we can explain the Gospel using a vernacular that our community can relate to; a contemporary example that connects people with the divine. As we go about our week, perhaps we should ask ourselves, in what ways do my community need to hear about Jesus? 

At thirty years old there were words in his head 

He didn’t know where they would lead to 

The burning words, well they all signalled red 

But somehow he had to see it through 

He took the bullet for me, He took the bullet for me 

At thirty years old he took a trip out of town 

He knew he had to speak the truth 

The scholars and vagrants, they branded him a clown 

They didn’t want to see the living proof 

He took the bullet for me, He took the bullet for me

At thirty-three years they put a gun to his head 

They knew they had to end his reign 

What they didn’t know when they left him for dead 

Is that he’d come to reign again 

He took the bullet for me, He took the bullet for me

Copyright 2007 words & music by Helen Sanderson White 

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I wonder how many of us long for a miracle? A breakthrough moment for ourselves or someone we love. Maybe you don’t believe in miracles or maybe you have never seen one. Sometimes we get out of the habit of asking for miracles because we rely too much on modern life; the convenience of science and technology creates obstacles for our belief that God can help us. Equally we can get sidetracked wondering whether God cares about situation enough to do something about it.  

Recently my thinking has been challenged on this topic. In John 20:30 we’re told that 

 “Jesus performed many other signs in the presence of his disciples, which are not recorded in this book.” 

This made me wonder what the other signs and miracles might have been? What did Jesus do that isn’t recorded in the gospels? It stretched my imagination as I pondered on what else Jesus may have done to restore people’s lives and bring hope. For us, this verse is an open invitation to dream with Jesus and to ask him for his vision for our lives.  

It’s often the case that we have no idea how Jesus will solve our problems; if we knew what he was going to do, there would be no element of wonder and awe at his authority over the situation. Handing the issue over to him, removes our control and leads us into a deeper level of trust with him. Our faith grows and our relationship with Jesus deepens as we surrender to him.  

There are personal miracles that I have waited decades to see happen, and this invitation to imagine how Jesus might work to bring restoration has reignited my hope and trust in him. It also involves opening up to possibilities and changing my mindset so that I’m allowing God to work in my life. Obedience also opens doors for Jesus to do more in lives; our “yes” to something unusual or even mundane can lead to far greater things.  

So my challenge to you is: what miracle are you going to imagine today? 

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Painting: Thaw by Helen Sanderson-White (Copyright 2023 Helen Sanderson-White. Do not reproduce without permission). 

A few months ago, I was asked to create some artwork for an exhibition that my church is hosting in Holy Week entitled The Journey. Over the last ten years I have been on a journey. It has taken me through many low valleys, difficult circumstances and tested my character to the hilt. I survived domestic abuse, divorce, the loss of a career, the death of many friends and the list goes on… What kept me going was the fact that at some point this season would come to an end. The Lord made me a promise in the autumn of 2013, that if I walked with him through this difficult time, the new season of singing for joy would eventually come. That new season has taken a decade to materialise.  

Just before Christmas I was sat at the piano working on some new song ideas, when I sensed that the Lord was saying the word “thaw” and he gave me the verses from Song of Songs 2:11-12: 

See! The winter is past; 
    the rains are over and gone. 
Flowers appear on the earth; 
    the season of singing has come… 

I immediately I had an image of a garden thawing out after a freezing season covered in snow. Everything changed from frozen to flourishing, and there was a vibrancy to the new colours that were shining through in the spring sunshine. A new season has begun after a long, dark winter; life is sweeter in the newly revealed season. I wasn’t sure about the image so asked the Lord for confirmation that I really was leaving the long, dark season and that change is coming. Twelve hours later I got it! I was in a prayer meeting later the same day when someone had a picture for me of a winter snow scene that suddenly turns to spring and a beautiful garden is revealed! 

So why has it taken so long for the season to change? Firstly, the Lord is always working on our character; we need to be God-built so that we can carry the new things he has for us. If he promoted us before our character is strong enough, it would crush us. Secondly, sometimes the Lord has to position us for the new to begin. This may mean stepping out and doing something scary or leaving things behind that are no longer fruitful. All of this takes time and obedience before we are in the right place at the right time. 

In the painting, I wanted to reflect the ice from the last season melting away to reveal the new season’s beautiful garden with new, fresh flowers and fruit to enjoy. Although we can’t see what the future holds, we know that God’s hope does not disappoint and that he is always moving in our lives. Difficult seasons come to an end, and bright futures begin.  

The best is yet to come.  

The exhibition is free to view at Gold Hill Baptist Church, Chalfont St Peter, Bucks from Monday 3rd and Tuesday 4th April 2023 from 9am-8pm and Wednesday 5th April 2.30-8pm.UPDATE

UPDATE: In 2025 I released a piece of music to accompany this painting. To find out more, click here.

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Listen to A Homely Blessing here.

At the end of 2021, Ruth Carlyle asked me to arrange one of her poems, A Homely Blessing, as a song for her new album. Excited by the challenge, I began work on creating a setting that was jazzy and inspired by popular music, knowing that this would be a departure from Ruth’s usual style. From an artistic perspective, this was a challenge in that the poem only has 3 stanzas, each with only 4 lines, however this gave room for greater scope with the harmonic progression and interpretation. This was an exciting composition project as it’s always a pleasure to collaborate with other artists. The recording features David Barton on the piano.

A Homely Blessing has been released today and the profits from this project will go towards the Faith in Action Homeless Project.

Ruth’s husband, Nic Carlyle, had the following to say about the project:

A Homely Blessing has been a special commission for Ruth and myself, for we have seen how important a sense of home is. We were very happy that Helen Sanderson White agreed to set Ruth’s words to music. Between 2011 and 2016, Ruth and I were both volunteers with a south London charity formed by local faith groups, Faith In Action Homelessness Project, who provided support to homeless and vulnerably housed people in the Merton Borough area. While Ruth acted as a trustee, I helped with the running of the showers and the laundry. Twice a week, in a local social hall, the group cooked a hot meal, with supplementary breakfasts and hot drinks, a warm social space, washing facilities and showers, a laundry service, as well as advice and referral services. For a few hours a week, something like basic home comforts were available to sixty to eighty people. For these people, home was something that had been lost along the way, ripped out of their lives, and now a struggle to regain. The second verse was something the group aimed for, the basics of food, shared together, extending a warm welcome, and finding friendship in a cruel, uncaring and unforgiving city. Ruth and I earnestly hope that home in all senses of the lyrics are found again within the lives of the people we met. It is to them we dedicate and sing this blessing, and any profits or donations go to Faith In Action Homelessness Project.

You can listen to the song here or make a donation to the Faith In Action Homeless Project here.

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Earlier this week I was feeling discouraged about my prayer life, mainly that I haven’t seen many answers to my prayers over the last year. Having moaned at God for his lack of communication, I decided to dig out my journal to see what I was talking to the Lord about this time last year. I always write down the situations and people that I am praying for, plus how I feel and what I think God might be saying. Looking back through last year’s entries was revealing; it’s amazing how much I have forgotten and how quickly life moves on. It’s easy to get caught up in the detail of everyday life and forget where I was a few months ago and what God has done for me.  

This time last year I was asking the Lord for several things that needed his help and advice. Although some of the situations did not change immediately, over the last year things have slowly started to move and improve. Some of the answers were small and could have been easily missed, whereas others were much clearer. If I hadn’t had written down each incident and response from God, I would have missed what he was saying and doing. Looking back, I can see how he was working behind the scenes to bring me to the point of understanding what he was doing and what he was asking me to do next. And although the whole answer may not be fully visible yet, there are signs of change.  

There’s so much more that comes with God’s answers; our mindset changes, I could see in the pages how my thought processes have changed and how I’ve grown in faith. My beliefs about who God is and his involvement in my life have changed for the better. He uses our prayers to develop us mentally, emotionally and spiritually, as well as bringing breakthrough to our petitions.  

By journalling I can see God’s participation in my life, it encourages me to keep persevering and walking with him. By rejoicing at what he is doing, I remember to be thankful for what he has done. Our praise creates a way for God to do more in our lives as it keeps our hearts and minds in line with him. In Joshua 4:6, Joshua builds a memorial marking the miracle that God performed when they crossed the river Jordan. He did this so that future generations would remember their relationship with God and learn more about his character. God knew that the Israelites would soon forget this miracle, and that they would become focused on their daily lives, so he asked them to continue to rejoice at what he had done for them. 

Journalling keeps us on track with our requests. Some situations require persistent prayer over a period of time; by writing down our thoughts and the changes we can see, we maintain our focus on our prayer requests. One of the most common reasons that we don’t see answer to prayer, is that we give up too soon or our commitment to asking for change fades away.  

If you’re struggling with your prayer life, try writing down your requests and keep track of God and what he is saying. You may find it that you’re much further into the process of change than you thought.  

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A few years ago, I saw a meme that said “Dear Lord…” and then showed a big pile of Scrabble letters that were in a mess. If I could describe my prayer life to you right now, that meme would accurately describe it. Today I had one of those moments where my prayers were car-crashing into each other. I arrived at church in good time (this is unusual, make no assumptions here!), and from the minute I sat down, my thoughts were scrambled up. No prayer was coherent, I’d start a sentence and not be able to complete it before the next thought took my mind captive. The sheer weight of all the situations I’m carrying weighing down on me.  

“Lord, I need help with…” 

“Please heal Jo…”* 

“Do I need to be worried about…” 

“Tomorrow I have to…” 

“I’m not sure I can…” 

Not one sentence made sense. My brain was raising one issue after another with no space to think. I said to the Lord, “I hope you understand all of that because it’s the best I can do right now.” And in that moment, I had a deep peace that the Lord had understood my heart’s cry and that he will answer me.  

In Luke 8, the woman who was bleeding and came to Jesus, received her answer to prayer without actually saying any words in the moment of breakthrough. She may have prayed before the event, but scripture indicates that she doesn’t say anything to Jesus, she just touches the hem of his cloak and is healed. In the moment of the miracle she has no words to say, yet Jesus’s spirit knows her need and meets it.  

Hannah got to the end of her rope in her situation. Desperate for a child and being tormented by husband’s other wife, her endless prayers became cries where her mouth moved but no sound came out. The situation had driven her to the point where she prayed until there was no sound left to make. We know that Eli the priest actually thought that she was drunk because of her distressed behaviour. Realising that she was petitioning the Lord out of sheer desperation, he came into agreement with her and the vow she had made to the Lord to offer her child back to God. The result was her prayer being answered. I’ve had occasions where I’m screaming my prayers at the Lord; those are raw yet powerful prayers as they lead me to submit to the Lord’s will. When faced with an impossible situations, I’ve learnt that the best route is the Lord’s plan. 

The Lord can take our broken, messy prayers and still understand them. He knows what we are crying out for and can read our hearts and minds even when we don’t make sense. Our words and sentences may be crashing into each other or there may be no words at all, but the Lord hears and sees it all. These stories remind us that we are not alone in journey and that the Lord always answers are prayers even if the answers are unexpected. All he wants is for us to turn to him and ask for wisdom, mercy and for his will to be done in our lives. Be encouraged that your jumbled prayers make sense to Jesus.  

*The name has been changed for privacy here.  

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I’ve been pondering on a word for the coming season and something that has come up again and again is the word JOY! We’ve all been through a difficult couple of years and now I sense that it is time to live with good expectation for the coming year. The things that have been stalled, damaged or robbed from us will be restored by the Lord. It’s a season of JOY! We are now in the first season of a new era. I asked the Lord to confirm this word and earlier today as I walked into Primark, the first thing I saw was this ornament. It was the last one on the shelf and it had no price: it was priceless! In the end the manager sold it to me for 50p! In reality, JOY is priceless and that’s want the Lord wants to give us this year; his priceless JOY.

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