Tag: music

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You’ve finished a piece of work that you have loved creating. A real passion project that has been a dream come true. You’ve given your all to making this work and now it has finished. You’ve had lots of amazing comments and feedback on your creation, and it feels good, it feels amazing. Yet underneath it all, you feel drained and slightly down. How can this be? It makes no sense; your brain tells you that you should feel amazing but secretly you feel exhausted. 

Recently, I was speaking with a friend who is experiencing the post creative blues, that space within the past project and the future project. A mixed space of joy and depression that leaves you confused by the paradox of both emotions. A space that leaves you exhausted wondering if you can do it all over again. She was mainly confused by how tired and drained she felt from giving herself to a long, demanding project. Her questions ranged from, “is this normal?” to “will I feel like creating again?”. And the answer to both those questions is yes. 

The post creative blues are real. To be realistic, you’ve just given birth to a project that you have been nurturing for a long time. You’ve taken care over every detail and carefully grown an idea from a small seed of an idea into a beautiful baby. Now that baby has been born you need to rest both your mind and body before starting again. We forget this and presume that we are capable of continually producing work, that we can always give to others, but before we can give, we must receive and replenish ourselves. You can’t pour out of an empty vessel.

We are more than artists; we are human beings. Being an artist doesn’t define who we are, it adds to who we are. Learning to care for and nurture ourselves before we create is essential for our daily living, our survival. If we look after ourselves will ultimately create better more defined work, and more importantly we will enjoy what we are creating. If we’re so tired that the joy of creating has gone, then there’s no point creating. 

Part of the creation process takes us beyond ourselves and our capabilities; we channel the divine in order to create. Those artistic eureka moments bring both ease and exhaustion as we battle with our inadequacies and rejoice as we achieve our goals. The ease and exhaustion come as the divine pushes us beyond our capabilities, and we create something far greater than we imagined. The Bible tells us that God created the world in six days and on the seventh day he rested. There’s a good lesson in this, that even the supreme creator took time out to rest. 

The other issue is the loss of purpose after a project ends; suddenly we have time on our hands and we don’t know what to do with ourselves. All the drive and passion are laid down as we step back from the projection completion. It’s in these times that we need to remind ourselves of the ebb and flow of life, there are always busy and quiet times, and they follow a natural cycle. It’s important to recognise that these seasons will pass and a time to create will come around again. You haven’t lost your purpose; you are in the process of redefining your purpose whilst you wait for the next project.

The post creative blues should remind us that we have just achieved greatness in our creativity. They are signal to remind us to rest and recuperate, and to take stock of everything that we have achieved, but also that there will be further opportunities in the future. This is just the lull before we get back up and try something new, it’s not the end. If anything, the post creative blues remind us that the best is yet to come. 

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Some days starting a new creative project is really hard. Creativity can be as difficult as it is pleasing. If I’m not in the mood, distractions become attractive. My head tells me that other options are available, but my heart wants to create… 

  1. Food. Yes really, I cannot tell you how many times I’ve settled down to work and my stomach has decided that food is more important. A sandwich, crisps, a biscuit (I don’t even like biscuits!), anything to stop me doing some work.  
  1. Neighbours. Suddenly the activities of my neighbours become far more interesting than writing a song, blog or doing some artwork. Who knew that next door’s Deliveroo delivery could be so entertaining?!  
  1. The box set. I’ve seen Sex And the City 8000 times, I don’t need to see it again, yet hours on the sofa seem more attractive than getting started on a blog. Also don’t let me crack open the Ghostbusters box set… 
  1. Cleaning. Suddenly I have a desperate urge to clean everything and get on top of the housework. This is partially linked to the fact that I find it hard to be creative in a messy room. For me, a tidy room means a tidy mind. Coincidently I have no urge to clean when I’m not creating. 
  1. The phone. This is a dangerous problem. Hours can be lost doom scrolling and checking out other artists and what they are up to. It can be a door to depression, so don’t go there. Don’t look at their accounts, concentrate on what you are doing. Also, whatever you do, absolutely do not look on Amazon, it leads to stupid purchases.  
  1. Old work. Looking at unfinished projects and suddenly thinking that they are more important than the piece I’m working on now. I also look at pieces I have finished and past successes (and failures!!!) and waste a lot of time analysing how I would have done things differently. 
  1. Emails. Messages from clients, friends, shops that I once bought something from in 2015…. These all become very urgent when I’ve got a creative project to start.  
  1. The need to go outside. As soon as I’ve got to sit down and focus, my brain tells me that I need to be outside in the sunshine. Or, even worse… that I will work better in a coffee shop. I’ve learnt to set times or targets for working and then the reward is a wander outside.  
  1. Tea. I have come to the conclusion that a cup of tea has the same danger as a mythical siren; the kettle is so alluring and takes me away from my goal. It all starts with “I’ll just have a quick cuppa…” 
  1. Teenage music. And by this, I mean the music that I listened to when I was a teenager. Hours of time lost to listening to Adamski and the Prodigy.  

PS. I wrote this blog instead of composing some music that desperately needs finishing. I was listening to Killer by Adamski. You’re welcome. 

What makes you procrastinate and not be creative? 

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Listen and download the track here.

I didn’t expect to be releasing this song; I wrote it seven years ago for a project that has been long abandoned. This song comes from a collection that I wrote in 2014 about the ins and outs relationships. Despite not releasing it, earlier this year I felt the compulsion to do so as it seemed to be important and that it might be useful to people. The song examines the dissatisfaction that comes from wanting everything you see in the hope that it will be fulfilling and mend an already broken relationship. It was a response to a situation I was seeing unfold in a friend’s life at the time of writing. 

I’ve never performed this song, and it’s been sat on my Laptop hard drive for awhile. When I went looking for it, I had one of those moments that every artist dreads, I couldn’t find it! I’m meticulous about making sure everything is backed up so I was quite surprised that I couldn’t locate the Logic file. I did find an mp3 of the demo though, and when I listened to the recording, it sounded dated and it didn’t express the vibe of the song well. I’ve created a more contemporary arrangement for the track, and all I can say is that not being able to find the original file has been a happy accident! The new arrangement is a much better interpretation of the lyrics, and represents the topic matter more clearly. 

Sometimes when we create something, and we must lay it down for a season until it is the right time to be released to the world. Prophesying always takes place long before the prophecy comes to fruition. Wait for the right time to release your work; this way it will be the most effective physically and spiritually. So however this is for, this is for you… 

You can find the track on Apple Music and Spotify

Listen and download the track here.

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One of the questions that I most commonly get asked is “when will I be a proper musician/artist/writer?”. In the artistic arena there is no defining moment when this happens. Unlike a lot of other professions, artistry isn’t just a job, it’s tied in with our identity. It’s part of who we are as well as what we do. Our reasons to create go beyond salary and career prospects; we feel compelled to create, make and perform: to shine a light on the issues that we are passionate about. This desire bubbles up inside of us until we satisfy our need to create.  The artistic spark within connects with the divine in order to channel the power of spiritual creativity.  

Sometimes you have to see yourself as an artist so that you believe that you are one. If we believe that we are made in the image of God, and he is the master artist, then we must reflect the artistry back to him. David had to see himself as king long before he ever was king, and Abraham had to believe that he was the Father of Nations long before he was a father.  Sometimes we have a sense of greatness within, but we don’t how or when that will be achieved in our lives. This calls us to trust that our sense of who we are will be filled during our life time. 

We must set aside other people’s views on who we are and what we do. To not be defined by the atmosphere and clamour around us. Someone else’s opinion can leave an imprint of a false belief on our identity, which can become a barrier to our artistic output. How many times have we believed that we’re not good enough to create? When imposter syndrome sets in, it steals our vision and denies our personhood. We can fall into the trap of needing to be ratified, commended and accepted by the creative community, rather than being able to do those things for ourselves. The best artists are those who have a sense of self coupled with independence; they are more likely to take risks and try new ideas whilst maintaining their integrity. 

Creative insecurity is driven by fear, in particular fear of opinion and failure. Mistakes and failures although painful can lead to being a better artist, they develop our character and help build a stronger resolve in us through wisdom and experience. Public and peer critique can also have benefits if we learn to filter out what isn’t necessary, and act on what is good.  

We can be under the illusion that money determines whether we are an artist or not. Yet some of the of greatest musicians died in poverty, case in point Handel who died penniless and largely unknown for his work. The Messiah was only a success after his death, and it written during a time when his friends supported him financially. Money is good for helping us create and access resources, but it can pollute our work if we are driven by financial gain. 

Creativity is a calling. There is a responsibility in everything we do that we represent and share the truth in an honourable way. Lots of people can create but those who accept the calling to “disturb the peace” and highlight different issues to the world through art have an undeniable vocation and position in society. The world needs those artists who undertake a journey of discovery and exploration for the sake of educating and helping others. They are the risk-takers, the pioneers, and mothers and fathers of new movements.  

It doesn’t matter whether you started being creative from the time you were small or if you find your stride during retirement. The artist DNA is part of you from the beginning; it comes to life at the right time to offer you healing, fulfilment and also bring hope to others. The truth is, you’re an artist from the moment you are born, from the moment you create, from the moment that idea germinates in your mind. You’re an artist from the moment you take that first breath… 

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Many moons ago I started writing a series of blogs about being a resilient artist but the time never seemed right to publish them. I even wrote out an idea for a business called Resilient Creative but life took over and the idea stayed in a notebook. Then the pandemic hit, the world turned upside down and changed the arts arena as we knew it. One evening I was chatting to my long time colleague and friend Rachael Forsyth about the state of the arts and we pondered on how we might recover as an industry. She mentioned some thoughts she was writing about, I mentioned the previous blogs and voilà, we had a book idea. 

If you’re struggling to get back into the rhythm of creating, then How To Be A Resilient Artist is for you. You may be looking to boost your creativity in some way, to find a new way of working or regain some areas of your art that have fallen apart. You’re not alone, many people go through a “wilderness” period with their creativity. It’s all part of the artistic journey. Life is full of difficult twists and turns; recession, divorce, death, illness, failed businesses and of course, the unforeseen pandemic. All of these situations are tough for anyone working in business, however the unpredictable nature of the creative industries can make this a lot tougher. For others it could be that boredom and lack of direction has brought you to a halt and you’re now not sure how to kick start your enjoyment of playing your instrument or picking up your paintbrushes. These “wilderness” periods can be confusing, disorientating and draining. They also give us the opportunity to assess where we’re going and what we want out of life and ultimately, our music. The trick is not to let the “wilderness” journey overwhelm you but redirect you. 

This book is designed to give you some hope that your setback is only a season and not a life sentence! Better times will come and eventually you will feel stronger from what you have learnt through this experience. There are plenty of ideas to get the creative juices going, and stories of how we overcame obstacles and found a new way to make things work. It’s always possible to recover from the pressure and regain a rhythm of working and performing. 

Whether you’re an amateur or a professional, this book has insights and tips on how to reinvigorate your creativity and regain your focus. Whatever season you are in, you can make a fresh start and discover the creativity within you. 

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One area of life that artists are good at tracking is the change of seasons, not just in the natural world around us but in our life seasons as well. In the UK we are heading into springtime but there’s also something in the air of new spiritual season emerging. There’s excitement in the air!

I have been in a wilderness period for a long time; this season of my life has been about pruning and getting rid of things that I no longer need. A time of evaluation, contemplation and preparation in readiness for new life and waiting for opportunities and breakthroughs to come forth. Over the last few months, there have been signs in my life of a new season blowing in; little changes that seem fresh and unfamiliar. Often we feel the advent of a new season before it begins, and I certainly felt this change coming about 18 months ago. Recently, I have been offered some interesting opportunities from my music work; some things that I have waited for a long time to be asked to do. They are only small opportunities, but I realised the other day, that a prophetic word that I was given 5 years ago was beginning to show signs of fruition through these requests.

When we enter a new season, the old way of doing things no longer works. We have to move on and try new ways of doing things. The pandemic opened up a world of online concerts, church services and meetings in a way that we hadn’t experienced before. This for me was the turning point as I have been able to meet new people via Zoom without having to travel. It presented a new way of doing something I was well used to, but I had to change the way I worked to make it happen. It has broadened my audience and made meeting new audiences much easier for me.

These new music opportunities have made me excited about my work for the first time in a very long time! And I’m holding on to the things that God promised me many years ago and that he will complete the work that he started in me. Whenever new growth appears, we need to remember not to take our old wilderness mindset into the new season. For me, that means holding on to the fact that things are changing for the better and that there are great things around the corner! So rejoice with me, my season is changing! There is a season for everything, and this is a season to grow and flourish.

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Last week I was interviewed by Victoria Park Baptist Church in Bristol about my song Where Are You God? This was used as part of their online church service and helped to inspire their prayers for the coming week. They asked me some deep, soul searching questions such as “do you think any good can come out the pandemic?” and we explored my reasons for being so honest with how I felt about the current global crisis. You can see the interview below.

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I always knew that I would be a songwriter and artist right from a very young age. And I think, if I’m honest with myself, I always knew that I probably wouldn’t have an easy life because of that calling to artistry and creativity. Artists generally experience life at a deeper emotional level than others, and this informs and guides our work. Our hearts gets broken and we pour the emotions into our work. But is there any other purpose to this?

Every artist dreams of profoundly connecting with their audience, being able to move someone is a great privilege, and if it helps them on their healing journey, even better. I learnt that the greatest way to connect with my audience was through compassion, if I understand what someone has been going through, I am then able to express these emotions better in my work. 

A long time ago, I asked God why I was suffering so much in life. A series of devastating events had taken over my life, rejection, discrimination, abandonment, rape, domestic abuse, unemployment, debt, housing insecurity, divorce; it never seemed to stop. It was at this point, the Lord was clear with me that he didn’t make those things happen to me, but he allowed me to learn compassion and to soften my heart towards others in the process of dealing with these situations. Learning to be a better artist meant learning how others felt and walking the same path as them. If I wanted to connect with my audience on a deeper level, I had to experience that deeper level. I am not in anyway advocating going out and getting your heart broken to improve your work, but what I am saying is that there is more than one purpose in the pain. 

But God does not leave things there in the ashes. He treats our lives as works of art. Whatever has been broken or stolen from us, is eventually restored to us. If we can walk with others and give them hope, we take them further than just identifying with their pain. God creates a beautiful story out of a desperate situation. Whether we have received restitution or are still waiting for it, the Lord always completes our story. Everything happens for his glory, so that he can reveal his love and compassion for us through our lives. 

And this is why artists often go through more challenging times than others; we’re being prepared to create greater works that reach much further than we have gone before. We are to reflect the glory of God through our work. It is important to share the pain as well as the triumphs with our audiences. Christian life and also the artistic life, isn’t all successes and victories; often the best work is born out of painful journeys. Even if you’re not an artist, there is purpose in every life situation that you face. A failure sometimes has more value than a success because we gain so much through learning how to navigate through the disaster. 

And by the way of example, I wrote You’re So Hard On Me when I was facing opposition as a single mother, I painted Walking Into The Light when I was emerging from the nightmare of domestic abuse and I wrote If That’s The Way when after a miscarriage. None of these projects were easy to create but they connected with my audience in a profound way and were cathartic for me as well. 

So when your heart is broken, remember that there is purpose in the pain. You may not see it yet, but you might produce some of your best work and also help others along the way. We never fully know the impression that our work leaves on someone, but if we handle our creativity well, our calling to be an artist might just save someone’s life…

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I just love it when a news headline brings the truth of a matter into sharp focus… Over the last nine months, the state of the arts and its significance in the British economy has been hotly debated. I’ve mentioned before the importance of the large contribution the arts sector brings both financially but also culturally to society. One headline caught my eye recently, Dolly Parton partly funded Moderna Covid vaccine research, partly because I wondered what her motivation for donating to such a cause was but also because the donation came not from the business sector, but the arts. 

I find it ironic in a time when the arts sector feels abandoned by the government that a musician should make a financial gesture of this magnitude to a cause that is so pressing. Often the press portrays superstars as egotistical or fame-hungry, and I will admit that at first the cynical side of me wondered if this was a publicity stunt, however, Dolly’s reputation goes before her in this arena. What we know is that she loves to give back to as many charities and organisations as possible. Her impoverished childhood gave her a good understanding of caring and looking out for others; not only does she regularly donate but she has also set up her own charities. Her business acumen has put in her in position to to give to others, and it is evident from her philanthropy that she takes great delight in doing so. 

So what better than a vaccine where the research has been funded by the proceeds of music! Where someone people are driven by greed, Dolly has used her platform to influence and help others for good. I would even go as far to say that the Lord put her in a position to help others in this very time of need. God always knows the desires of people’s hearts and the timing needed to bring peace; he knows how to make it all work for our good, he is never late but right on time. It’s a wake up call to all of us as to what our motives our for creating art, and what we want to people to take from our creations. It’s about putting others first and then taking the opportunity to give back. And it seems for Dolly that working 9 to 5, made a way to fund a vaccine…

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It has been said that it takes a crisis for people to see what they truly value. Never has this been more evident in our generation than through the COVID-19 crisis. The national lockdown may have brought people to a stand still but also to a place of deep introspection on personal and national level. We are continually in awe at the NHS response to coronavirus, and as a nation, I think we can see how deeply passionate we are about keeping our uniquely funded National Health Service. In the past key workers have been treated with a lack of respect, however, their true value has now been seen: the least have become the greatest. 

We’ve also realised how complicated our lives have become and discovered that simplicity can lead to contentment. The fact we can’t go out or see our families and friends has lead us to rethink what is important in our lives. We’ve discovered that the internet is not luxury but a necessity in life; everything from schooling, work, business, and relationships has been diverted into online formats. I do believe that something good comes out of every situation. Sometimes it takes us a long time to see it but something good always pushes the ashes. In our crisis situation, a new world order is forming and to be fair, it is long overdue. 

The lockdown has hit the arts sector hard; most arts practitioners are self employed and the work has dried up overnight. The government has put together a package for self employed workers who currently are unable to work and the arts community has come together to support each other and provide new ways of connecting people together for projects. There has been a mixed reaction to this government deal, but to be fair an offer of financial help is better than no offer at all, even if it doesn’t come as quickly as we would like it to. I also speak from a very different point of view, in the last 13 years, I have had two major low points where my business collapsed and the circumstances that surrounded these low points were totally out of my control. There was no government help, no union support and a lot of colleagues fled. For me, the good that came out of it was a resigned resilience and I learnt who was really for me. It left me with a small but extremely committed group of friends and colleagues which is better than what I had before. If you’re going to work in the arts, you need to be resilient, focused and flexible. 

It was during these low points that I began to pray that things would change in the self employed and arts sectors. I do believe that the crisis we are currently in lead us to a new way of working and will also open the door for artists and musicians to campaign for a better working conditions and deals. The plight of artists has been publicly acknowledged and this platform will help to campaign for better working conditions and employment deals in the future. 

The necessity for the arts and its role in society has been brought to people’s attention during the lockdown. How many of us has listened to some music, read a book or watch a film or TV show during this time? Yep all of us. Without the arts, life would be dull, lack colour and also insight. Not only are the arts part of our entertainment, but they are also essential for good mental health, understanding concepts and culture, and provoking thought and conversation. The arts are often seen as frivolous and expendable, however they need to be protected for their philosophical and spiritual values. At some point everyday, we reach for something creative to inspire and motivate us. 

In recent years, the financial and management sides of the creative industry have been abused and ripped apart. Much of this is being exposed and brought to light; we’ve watched as major figures have fallen from grace and organisations have collapsed. Artists have had to work for free, and I can’t tell you the amount of times I’ve been asked to perform for free or to give my music away. Creative enterprises have been devalued to zero. Maybe this period of introspection will bring a realisation that this can’t continue; we have to build an industry that is sustainable and fair for artists. There’s an opportunity to raise up pioneers who are passionate about encouraging and developing a wide range of genres disciplines and creating new platforms. Whatever we feel about this dark season, it won’t last forever. The temporary cessation is harmful to the arts industry in the short term, but in the long term it could actually bring about good for creatives.