Tag: calling

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Amazon has released a new film called You Hurt My Feelings starring Julia Louis-Dreyfus and Tobias Menzies as an under-confident couple who struggle with finding fulfilment in their work. Julia’s character overhears her husband (Menzies) telling her brother-in-law that her latest book isn’t her best artistic work, and the revelation shatters her. The film details how the couple explore being honest with each other and learning to let go of their co-dependent affirmation.

Should it be a given that our closest loved ones like our work? Before I get into this topic, I want to say that there are no clear answers to this question. When God calls people together it is holy and sacrosanct. Each relationship is between those people and God. 

I meet creative people all the time who are surprised or hurt by the fact that their partner or friends and family don’t like their art. Thinking back over my relationships and previous partners, some were supportive of my creativity while others were not. Needless to say, the relationships where there was little or no support did not last. Why? Because we weren’t united in the same vision. To my cost, I learnt that we need to be running in this same direction, having the same ambition for the things of God. Without this, there will always be compromises that lead us away from God’s vision for us and the things he is asking us to do. If we’re called to serve God together, then we need to be moving in harmony together, and there needs to be unity in our God-given vision and mission in life.

If we constantly need the affirmation of other people, we are driven by our insecurities rather than our faith in God. The need for admiration and love gets in the way of why we are creating. Our focus should be on following Jesus as looking for affirmation will only lead to building our ego and not our faith. Accepting encouragement is good for our wellbeing, but an unhealthy need for validation can distract us. 

There are some positives about negative criticism: someone not liking or “getting” our work gives us the opportunity to evaluate and analyse the piece and learn from it. We can see the project from a different point of view, learn more about our audience and how to communicate with them, as well as analysing the message or media used. Our work isn’t going to be everyone’s cup of tea, and this is a good thing because a small group of strong supporters is better than a large group of apathetic followers. Negative criticism from our closest loved ones is more challenging because it is hardest to hear from those we love. However, if the message is delivered to us in love and grace, we can benefit by reflecting and learning from it. We need to distinguish the difference between an unhealthy relationship that is hindering our calling and healthy criticism which sharpens and refines our work.  

Whenever we’re offered feedback, it’s important not to be dismissive but to filter what’s relevant and what’s not helpful. Finding a mentor or trusted colleague to review our projects with is a good way to gain perspective and grow in confidence. If your partner does not like a piece of your work, it’s not the end of the world but an opportunity for discussion. Loyalty is not superior to honesty, the two should work in harmony. 

Balance is a key factor to relationship stability. You’re never going to please everyone all the time. Learning to filter and reflect on criticism can lead to greater maturity and working relationships and helps us understand more about ourselves. Maturity is accepting that others are entitled to their opinion, whilst being secure in our own viewpoint. So should my partner like my creative work? If you’re depending on the praise to boost your confidence, then no, but if you’re settled in who you are and what you do, then any praise is a bonus. My personal feeling is that it is better to surround myself with people who will support and encourage but also be honest about my work, than to be with someone who always agrees, or worse, someone who discourages and is moving in a different direction. As artists, it is important to become resilient and use criticism to better ourselves, so that we can persevere and endure in our creativity. 

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I always knew that I would be a songwriter and artist right from a very young age. And I think, if I’m honest with myself, I always knew that I probably wouldn’t have an easy life because of that calling to artistry and creativity. Artists generally experience life at a deeper emotional level than others, and this informs and guides our work. Our hearts gets broken and we pour the emotions into our work. But is there any other purpose to this?

Every artist dreams of profoundly connecting with their audience, being able to move someone is a great privilege, and if it helps them on their healing journey, even better. I learnt that the greatest way to connect with my audience was through compassion, if I understand what someone has been going through, I am then able to express these emotions better in my work. 

A long time ago, I asked God why I was suffering so much in life. A series of devastating events had taken over my life, rejection, discrimination, abandonment, rape, domestic abuse, unemployment, debt, housing insecurity, divorce; it never seemed to stop. It was at this point, the Lord was clear with me that he didn’t make those things happen to me, but he allowed me to learn compassion and to soften my heart towards others in the process of dealing with these situations. Learning to be a better artist meant learning how others felt and walking the same path as them. If I wanted to connect with my audience on a deeper level, I had to experience that deeper level. I am not in anyway advocating going out and getting your heart broken to improve your work, but what I am saying is that there is more than one purpose in the pain. 

But God does not leave things there in the ashes. He treats our lives as works of art. Whatever has been broken or stolen from us, is eventually restored to us. If we can walk with others and give them hope, we take them further than just identifying with their pain. God creates a beautiful story out of a desperate situation. Whether we have received restitution or are still waiting for it, the Lord always completes our story. Everything happens for his glory, so that he can reveal his love and compassion for us through our lives. 

And this is why artists often go through more challenging times than others; we’re being prepared to create greater works that reach much further than we have gone before. We are to reflect the glory of God through our work. It is important to share the pain as well as the triumphs with our audiences. Christian life and also the artistic life, isn’t all successes and victories; often the best work is born out of painful journeys. Even if you’re not an artist, there is purpose in every life situation that you face. A failure sometimes has more value than a success because we gain so much through learning how to navigate through the disaster. 

And by the way of example, I wrote You’re So Hard On Me when I was facing opposition as a single mother, I painted Walking Into The Light when I was emerging from the nightmare of domestic abuse and I wrote If That’s The Way when after a miscarriage. None of these projects were easy to create but they connected with my audience in a profound way and were cathartic for me as well. 

So when your heart is broken, remember that there is purpose in the pain. You may not see it yet, but you might produce some of your best work and also help others along the way. We never fully know the impression that our work leaves on someone, but if we handle our creativity well, our calling to be an artist might just save someone’s life…

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A few weeks ago I went to see the Amazing Grace film about the recording of the famous Aretha Franklin gospel album. Filmed and recorded in 1972, it is the only gospel recording that Aretha made after becoming a Grammy Award winner. Granted there are recordings of her leading worship as a teenager at her father’s Baptist church, but this is the only album she made with a Christian emphasis in her professional singing career. As a star she often talked her of faith in God and how it underpinned her life, let alone her career.

One of the issues that has distressed me over the years, is the constant criticism from some Christians who declare that she turned her back on God and the church in order to follow a musical path. My own experience is that the church often tries to keep musicians and artists within its walls should they try and do something that would lead them astray and destroy the reputation of the faith. Yet musicians and artists are visionaries who hear and see what God has placed within them. Aretha’s journey wasn’t so much about walking out of the church, but more about being sent by God into an industry that needed him. She was often described as shy and quiet, yet when she opened her mouth the passion and conviction poured out through her singing, a talent and drive that come from the strength of something much greater than her.  

This album celebrates Aretha’s personal testimony of her journey through a difficult life. A single mother by the time she was 13 years old, divorces, an abusive home life and the back drop of slavery and the civil rights movement all led her into a deeper relationship with God. However, while some Christians decry her fame and status as ungodly, there’s also the possibility that God put her into that position so that he could use her to help others. Aretha’s Amazing Grace album is the best selling gospel album of all time, beating her gospel rivals. Not bad for someone who made their name as a soul singer. 

What is also interesting about this album is the rawness of the occasion compared to other recordings of that era. It is reported that Aretha wanted to capture live worship as she knew it in her own church and present it to a wider audience who had no church background. The album allows us to hear Christians worshipping openly in a Baptist church in Los Angeles with a small congregation of both believers and non-believers. This album wasn’t about creating a studio atmosphere with great musical prowess, but about opening a window on praise and adoration of the Lord for those who had never experienced it. Aretha displays a dedication to take the church and God’s love out to the world rather than to wait for people broach the church door tentatively. As Christians, we are asked to take the message of God to our mission field, Aretha just does on a much grander scale using her status and platform to spread the gospel of Jesus. What is notable is that on the second night of the recording, the congregation doubled in size as word spread about the “free” Aretha concert. Even Mick Jagger makes an appearance in the crowd.

However, it isn’t just this album which makes Aretha’s legacy so unique. She was known for singing about women’s rights and independence, performing strong and powerful lyrics that women across the world identified with. Many of her songs became anthems for change and breakthrough; we’re all familiar with Respect and Sisters Are Doin’ It For Themselves and the powerful message that pervades these performances. 

While the some factions of the church may be mourning the loss of musicians who follow a different path, others are valuing the mission work that they are doing. The music business is one of the most uncharted industries when it comes to Christian missionaries. Aretha’s entry into this world meant the gospel was spread further. I’m not suggesting that all church musicians and artists should up and leave, more that the church should recognise their call and prophethood into an area that needs light and hope. Artists and musicians are called to carry the very heart of God into a world that needs help and this includes the entertainment industries. 

I know the church feels the need to protect creatives from sex, drugs and rock n roll, however in doing so, sometimes it stops people from fully fulfilling their calling. There needs to be an element of trust that God knows what he is doing. I’ve often been criticised for writing secular songs, however I do believe that this is what God has called me to do. One wonders if the church lets down artists, such as Aretha Franklin, by not supporting them more. Perhaps less stars would go off the rails if the church walked with them through their musical careers. I think what we can glean from Aretha’s life is that God used her powerfully and that her music touches the lives listeners around the world. Music is more than worship, some songs heal by the fact that we identify with the pain, others uplift when we feel down, or build community when we all sing together. Music has more than one role in life. 

Perhaps it is time for the church to let more creative people go and do what they do best and reap the harvest of music and art that comes from it. We’re not walking out of church, but walking into what God has called us to do.

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Half written songs, rejections, unshakeable belief and failed projects; it turns out that you’ve got to have guts to be an artist! Last week I had a conversation that sadly I’ve had over and over again in the last fifteen years…

Person: “so I hear you’re a musician”

Me: “yes that’s right”

Person: “so what do you do for a living?”

Me: SIGH…

IMG_3524You see no-one ever believes you when you say you’re a singer, musician, artist. People either think that I’m going through a phase and that I’ll get over it or that I have delusions of grandeur. But what if being an artist is just about wanting to create something beautiful and represent the world that you see around you? Art has many purposes: social comment, raising awareness, soothing emotions and trauma and “just because”.

But I’ve discovered that this isn’t for the faint hearted, its not just about singing, playing piano and painting a few nice pictures here and there.  I’ve found that to follow those artistic purposes involves painful honesty, boldness and courage. Earlier this week Adele, admitted that she didn’t think she could write another record and that the “25” album took much longer than she thought as the songwriting was difficult. The reality is that the creative process takes a piece of you and this is emotionally and physically exhausting.

Then there’s the practical side that no-one ever warns you about. Like all freelancers and business owners, I have to go out and find work opportunities and more often then not, if there aren’t any, I have to create them. Everyday I work as my own manager, promoter, booker, marketer, financier, administrator as well as composing and dreaming up new ideas. The launch of every new album, EP, single is a gut wrenching roller coaster ride of excitement and terror. Will the songs be well received? Will the project break even, let alone run into profit? Have I just released some terrible songs?

The exciting part of being an artist is that you get to be a pioneer! Artists are often called into uncharted areas where there is little creativity to shed light into darkness. We’re called to try new things, expressions, media to see where it will go. It’s risk taking – we put our hearts on our sleeves in order to encourage, enlighten, warn and protect. The downside of this can mean that we risk rejection, being misunderstood, loneliness and sometimes humiliation. The artist’s world is a brave one; it means going out on a limb.

Artistry also means accepting a Bohemian lifestyle. Artists choose a lifestyle that the world says is unconventional, different and not “normal”. We are called to think and see the world differently: to dream… Sometimes we choose to create when the mood takes us, other times we are forced to put pen to paper and hope that we can conjure the magic. We are often misunderstood as the creative force means working with ideas, notions and timetables that are different to what the world says is acceptable.

The whole package of artistry means being DARING in everything from self belief, to work, to lifestyle. It means daring to be different and knowing your own mind. You need to seek out others who will support you through all seasons, not just the good times and the successes. They may not always understand but they are the type of people who will support you no matter what. You got to have guts to be an artist…

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I was very moved by the story of the musicians who continued to play for the passengers whilst the Titanic sank. Part of me wonders what motivated them to do such a thing?  Was it bravery, dedication, a sense of a deeper calling or that they were just facing the inevitable and trying to provide a few moments of pleasure before facing death? Makes me wonder what I would do if faced with certain death: would I hold true to what I believed and my calling? The Titanic Musicians were obviously very sure that their duty was to play beautiful music – not just a job but a way of life. Music was intrinsic to their being.

For many of us doing the job or vocation that makes us happy is already a way of life. But for some of us we are not sure what our calling is yet. In popular culture it is presumed that we must have everything sown up career-wise before we are thirty. But life isn’t like that and God isn’t bound by time, He does things when he is ready and in His time. Winston Churchill is famously quoted for saying that he felt his “moment” was taking on the role of Prime Minister during the Second World War; he was in his mid 60s at the that point. He’d waited most of his life for his seminal moment of vocation.

So what is a “calling”? For Christians, this means a task or job that they feel God is asking them to do. It could even include looking after a certain people group or making a difference in some way in their local community. Some callings are big, such as being called to move to a different country, or to work with a people group that can put your life in danger. Other callings can be small such as looking out for your neighbour or looking after a sick friend. I think it would be fair to say that all callings can be life changing if you do them willingly. The benefits of helping someone can be life changing to both you and them. There are plenty of non-Christians that feel that they are called to a particular job and this is often known as a vocation.

So how can you find out what your “calling” is? If you believe in God, ask Him, He knows far better than us what our gifts, talents and purposes are. Write a list of what you think your gifts and talents are, also add activities or jobs that make you happy and that you enjoy doing. You should begin to see where your gifting and calling lies. A calling isn’t always a paid job either. It can be something that runs alongside your current career or post; something to look forward to after work.

Some people also assume that a calling is easy and will present no problems. Unfortunately life isn’t like that and people often find that the greater the calling, the greater the challenge that faces them. This shouldn’t deter us from acting though, if you face problems in doing your calling, keep going! You’ll grow through facing the challenges and gain greater wisdom and experience.

There are some callings that we don’t know we have until the moment arises. This is certainly true for the musicians on the Titanic. It may be that today you will help someone in some way without knowing it. A kind word or action that was spontaneous and unexpected could really move someone. I met someone recently who said that they felt the musicians’ gesture on the Titanic was an act of defeat and admittance that nature was going to win. An interesting thought but I see their act more of defiance in the face of adversity and also a magnanimous gift to relieve the last minutes of fear and sorrow for those who were about to drown. So ask yourself: what you can do for others today to unlock your calling. It doesn’t need to a big gesture; you can start small and see your gifting grow from there.