Tag: film

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Amazon has released a new film called You Hurt My Feelings starring Julia Louis-Dreyfus and Tobias Menzies as an under-confident couple who struggle with finding fulfilment in their work. Julia’s character overhears her husband (Menzies) telling her brother-in-law that her latest book isn’t her best artistic work, and the revelation shatters her. The film details how the couple explore being honest with each other and learning to let go of their co-dependent affirmation.

Should it be a given that our closest loved ones like our work? Before I get into this topic, I want to say that there are no clear answers to this question. When God calls people together it is holy and sacrosanct. Each relationship is between those people and God. 

I meet creative people all the time who are surprised or hurt by the fact that their partner or friends and family don’t like their art. Thinking back over my relationships and previous partners, some were supportive of my creativity while others were not. Needless to say, the relationships where there was little or no support did not last. Why? Because we weren’t united in the same vision. To my cost, I learnt that we need to be running in this same direction, having the same ambition for the things of God. Without this, there will always be compromises that lead us away from God’s vision for us and the things he is asking us to do. If we’re called to serve God together, then we need to be moving in harmony together, and there needs to be unity in our God-given vision and mission in life.

If we constantly need the affirmation of other people, we are driven by our insecurities rather than our faith in God. The need for admiration and love gets in the way of why we are creating. Our focus should be on following Jesus as looking for affirmation will only lead to building our ego and not our faith. Accepting encouragement is good for our wellbeing, but an unhealthy need for validation can distract us. 

There are some positives about negative criticism: someone not liking or “getting” our work gives us the opportunity to evaluate and analyse the piece and learn from it. We can see the project from a different point of view, learn more about our audience and how to communicate with them, as well as analysing the message or media used. Our work isn’t going to be everyone’s cup of tea, and this is a good thing because a small group of strong supporters is better than a large group of apathetic followers. Negative criticism from our closest loved ones is more challenging because it is hardest to hear from those we love. However, if the message is delivered to us in love and grace, we can benefit by reflecting and learning from it. We need to distinguish the difference between an unhealthy relationship that is hindering our calling and healthy criticism which sharpens and refines our work.  

Whenever we’re offered feedback, it’s important not to be dismissive but to filter what’s relevant and what’s not helpful. Finding a mentor or trusted colleague to review our projects with is a good way to gain perspective and grow in confidence. If your partner does not like a piece of your work, it’s not the end of the world but an opportunity for discussion. Loyalty is not superior to honesty, the two should work in harmony. 

Balance is a key factor to relationship stability. You’re never going to please everyone all the time. Learning to filter and reflect on criticism can lead to greater maturity and working relationships and helps us understand more about ourselves. Maturity is accepting that others are entitled to their opinion, whilst being secure in our own viewpoint. So should my partner like my creative work? If you’re depending on the praise to boost your confidence, then no, but if you’re settled in who you are and what you do, then any praise is a bonus. My personal feeling is that it is better to surround myself with people who will support and encourage but also be honest about my work, than to be with someone who always agrees, or worse, someone who discourages and is moving in a different direction. As artists, it is important to become resilient and use criticism to better ourselves, so that we can persevere and endure in our creativity. 

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Burt Bacharach sang it best “What The World Needs Now Is Love, Sweet Love” but it also needs… ART. Over the last few weeks we have seen unspeakable acts of evil on our British streets. As a nation we are no stranger to dealing with conflict; as a child I grew up in the era of IRA bombings and the Falklands and Gulf wars, my parents were born during the second world war and my grandparents were born into the horrors of the first world war. Each generation has seen conflict develop in new ways and now my children are growing up in a society where terror is on the street, in a pop concert and on the London Underground.

The New York Times reported that Britain was “reeling” from these attacks. I beg to differ. As a nation we may get knocked but we have an incredible way of picking ourselves up immediately and getting on with it. In the Blitz we made tea, but there is something we do better than that in a crisis: we make ART. Each crisis has seen this country produce art and music on a unprecedented scale. During World War Two music was used to rally troops and muster morale for those left at home. In the 80s Bob Geldof encouraged us to unite and bring famine relief through a charity single and the world’s first ever charity concert, Live Aid.

Two weeks ago, Manchester burst into song after a minute’s silence for the victims of the Ariana Grande concert bombing. Their song? Don’t Look Back In Anger by Oasis. I’m sure that Oasis had no idea how that song would be used when they recorded it. Yet their art united people in grief and solidarity when they needed comfort and strength. What does this show us? We need to produce more art that helps people overcome everyday challenges. When sing we become one, when we view a work of art we discuss its beauty and our response to it, whenwe watch a film or play we are drawn into someone’s world and have a better understanding of they tick. Art brings us together, fosters community, initiates discussion and brings understanding. Music has the prophetic ability to change atmospheres, communities and individuals.

Yesterday I watched the One Love Manchester concert, thousands of people united through music. On social media I observed that people of all generations were watching this concert, whether they knew who the acts were or not. A national act of defiance in the face of adversity. Though there was mourning for those we have lost, there was also joy that we have our freedom to express ourselves, a joy that was expressed through song.

In 1937 Picasso painted Guernica, it depicts the horror of the Nazi bombing of the town. Some say that its graphic nature makes it to gory to view, however, in the long term I would suggest that it has given us hope. It reminds us that we are not alone and that others understand what we are going through. It reminds us that they got through it and came out the other side. It’s also a warning to future generations not to repeat the mistakes of the past and to stand strong for freedom.

You may feel that your art has nothing to offer the world, but you never know how it will be used. We must learn to not let fear and lack of confidence stop us from creating. So go write a song, a poem, a play, a film, paint a picture, make a dress, carve a sculpture, write a novel, a blog, a manifesto and help someone who needs to know that they are not alone, whether it’s someone living now or in generations to come. Give them hope…