Last week I was interviewed by Victoria Park Baptist Church in Bristol about my song Where Are You God? This was used as part of their online church service and helped to inspire their prayers for the coming week. They asked me some deep, soul searching questions such as “do you think any good can come out the pandemic?” and we explored my reasons for being so honest with how I felt about the current global crisis. You can see the interview below.
The title of my new song, Where Are You God? is no surprise to any of us given the current pandemic situation. The turmoil of our fragility and the feeling that God is generally silent in this era is something that has crossed most of our minds. This song was a bit of a surprise for me, I was reticent to write it as I was unsure that I could do justice to the topic. In fact, I told God that I wasn’t going to write it. I think you can tell who won this argument. The lyrics are the raw, awkward truth of how I saw things in that moment. But sometimes the raw, awkward truth is what we need to hear. The Psalms are full of unfettered emotion and passionate pleas for help, and in some senses the essence of this song lie in the same roots. Sometimes our prayers are cries that come from deep within us.
There are two videos: a lyric video and the second version contains photos that fans of my music sent in from their lockdown walks over the last year. The track is available from Spotify, Apple Music, Amazon and Bandcamp.
Where Are You God? Trapped by the storm of the sickness We hide inside our cosy worlds No end in sight of this tragedy That’s holding back our daily lives Our backs against the wall, we ask Where are you God? We need you flowing in our hearts We need you speaking in our dreams to us Where are you God? We need you growing in our hearts We need you moving in our lives today Where are you God? Trapped in a world of our making We try so hard to heal ourselves Plans without faith robbed our children The unbelief has left us blind Our backs against the wall, we ask Minds high, and hearts low How far will we go? Some truth and half lies How long till we cry ©2020 Words and music by Helen Sanderson White.
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Sometimes God likes to remind us how powerful He is. We think that we are too far gone, and that we have missed His plan for our lives. The situation seems impossible and we believe that nothing can change. Sometimes the vision He has given us for us lives seems so outlandish that we believe that it can never happen. We’re in the wrong place, doing the wrong thing, we don’t know anyone who has the contacts to help us. Our perception of God becomes limited to what we can see.
And that’s when God likes to remind us that He hasn’t forgot us, that He can do anything and bring the most unlikely of people together. On Saturday night, the doorbell rang and on the other side of the door was the much expected Tesco delivery man. What wasn’t expected, was the conversation that ensued whilst he unpacked my food order. After apologising for being half an hour early, and me saying “oh that’s fine, I needed a break from editing a song”, we discovered that we both had something in common: MUSIC. Turns out that he’s a sound engineer and mixes and masters a lot of projects for the BBC and local radio. Somewhat downcast, he then said “I expect you’re wondering why I’m working for Tesco”, I replied, “not really, lots of people in the music industry have several jobs. Helps to pay the bills”. And at the point, he relaxed and his story came tumbling out…
Turns out he needed some encouragement and to hear that it’s ok to have multiple, different streams of income. He needed someone to say that they understood how hard the music industry can be and that he’s not alone. We talked about the seasonal nature of life and that low points can often to be a blessing as they lead us to make changes that create new seasons and creativity in our lives. I was rather surprised to be having this conversation on my doorstep; I hadn’t thought I’d be discussing this in my slippers whilst checking if my favourite crisps had been delivered but evidently it was a divine appointment which was beneficial for both of us.
What God was reminding me, is that He isn’t limited by our location or condition. He can bring two people together and make His will happen. Divine connections can happen in the strangest of places, and when we least expect it. He doesn’t need us to try and engineer these meetings, He’s got it all under control. Some of these encounters are short lived and serve to encourage us, while others have a lasting effect and are to bring us into opportunities and seasons of life. The important thing is to be prepared for the unexpected, we never know when God will want us to help someone or to be available to make something happen. Whilst He doesn’t need our help, He loves to partner with us so that we can see how powerful and great He is. It’s often in the smallest of details that we realise that God loves us and has a plan for our lives. Often what keeps life exciting, is the encounters that makes us say “I wasn’t expecting that…”