A few years ago, I arranged Ruth Carlyle’s poem A Homely Blessing for her to sing. The song was released as a charity single in aid of the Faith in Action Homeless Project in south London. We’ve teamed up again, and I’ve arranged another one of Ruth’s poems Walking to the Beat of My Heart. Again, this features David Barton on the piano and Ruth on vocals. The song tells of Ruth’s early morning walks before dawn where she longs for daylight to break through.
Walking is one of Ruth’s passions; when she was working for Macmillan Cancer Support, she was part of a Walking for Health partnership with The Ramblers. She believes in the benefits of walking, not just for health, but for wellbeing and a sense that the darkness and shadows pass as people walk with companions. In light of this, the Walking to the Beat of My Heart single is being released in aid of The Ramblers. Ruth’s niece, Lily has created the artwork for this project.
It was a joy to work with Ruth again as her poems provide so much light and shade to interrupt musically. Enjoy!
Twenty years ago, I lived in London and worked teaching music with churches and further education colleges. Most of my work was with underprivileged young people living in areas of deprivation and poverty. Wealthy, salubrious neighbourhoods bordered these city areas, yet for most of the teens and young adults I worked with, this lifestyle was out of reach. They had become accustomed to accepting that their career path would be crime. Shootings and violent attacks in the area happened with alarming regularity, gangs and drugs became an easy option for a living.
As I reflected on this culture, I wondered how I would express the Gospel to young people who had never heard of Jesus. How would I explain the cross and resurrection to them? As I discussed this with my church youth group, the breakthrough moment came when one of the young people said that the highest honour in gang culture was to take a bullet for a friend. That was the way in for me to explain to an unchurched community what Jesus did for us through his death on the cross and the resurrection: he took the bullet for us, so that we can live with him forever.
Sometimes we need to understand the culture we are living in so that we can explain the Gospel using a vernacular that our community can relate to; a contemporary example that connects people with the divine. As we go about our week, perhaps we should ask ourselves, in what ways do my community need to hear about Jesus?
At thirty years old there were words in his head
He didn’t know where they would lead to
The burning words, well they all signalled red
But somehow he had to see it through
He took the bullet for me, He took the bullet for me
At thirty years old he took a trip out of town
He knew he had to speak the truth
The scholars and vagrants, they branded him a clown
They didn’t want to see the living proof
He took the bullet for me, He took the bullet for me
At thirty-three years they put a gun to his head
They knew they had to end his reign
What they didn’t know when they left him for dead
Is that he’d come to reign again
He took the bullet for me, He took the bullet for me
Copyright 2007 words & music by Helen Sanderson White
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Amazon has released a new film called You Hurt My Feelings starring Julia Louis-Dreyfus and Tobias Menzies as an under-confident couple who struggle with finding fulfilment in their work. Julia’s character overhears her husband (Menzies) telling her brother-in-law that her latest book isn’t her best artistic work, and the revelation shatters her. The film details how the couple explore being honest with each other and learning to let go of their co-dependent affirmation.
Should it be a given that our closest loved ones like our work? Before I get into this topic, I want to say that there are no clear answers to this question. When God calls people together it is holy and sacrosanct. Each relationship is between those people and God.
I meet creative people all the time who are surprised or hurt by the fact that their partner or friends and family don’t like their art. Thinking back over my relationships and previous partners, some were supportive of my creativity while others were not. Needless to say, the relationships where there was little or no support did not last. Why? Because we weren’t united in the same vision. To my cost, I learnt that we need to be running in this same direction, having the same ambition for the things of God. Without this, there will always be compromises that lead us away from God’s vision for us and the things he is asking us to do. If we’re called to serve God together, then we need to be moving in harmony together, and there needs to be unity in our God-given vision and mission in life.
If we constantly need the affirmation of other people, we are driven by our insecurities rather than our faith in God. The need for admiration and love gets in the way of why we are creating. Our focus should be on following Jesus as looking for affirmation will only lead to building our ego and not our faith. Accepting encouragement is good for our wellbeing, but an unhealthy need for validation can distract us.
There are some positives about negative criticism: someone not liking or “getting” our work gives us the opportunity to evaluate and analyse the piece and learn from it. We can see the project from a different point of view, learn more about our audience and how to communicate with them, as well as analysing the message or media used. Our work isn’t going to be everyone’s cup of tea, and this is a good thing because a small group of strong supporters is better than a large group of apathetic followers. Negative criticism from our closest loved ones is more challenging because it is hardest to hear from those we love. However, if the message is delivered to us in love and grace, we can benefit by reflecting and learning from it. We need to distinguish the difference between an unhealthy relationship that is hindering our calling and healthy criticism which sharpens and refines our work.
Whenever we’re offered feedback, it’s important not to be dismissive but to filter what’s relevant and what’s not helpful. Finding a mentor or trusted colleague to review our projects with is a good way to gain perspective and grow in confidence. If your partner does not like a piece of your work, it’s not the end of the world but an opportunity for discussion. Loyalty is not superior to honesty, the two should work in harmony.
Balance is a key factor to relationship stability. You’re never going to please everyone all the time. Learning to filter and reflect on criticism can lead to greater maturity and working relationships and helps us understand more about ourselves. Maturity is accepting that others are entitled to their opinion, whilst being secure in our own viewpoint. So should my partner like my creative work? If you’re depending on the praise to boost your confidence, then no, but if you’re settled in who you are and what you do, then any praise is a bonus. My personal feeling is that it is better to surround myself with people who will support and encourage but also be honest about my work, than to be with someone who always agrees, or worse, someone who discourages and is moving in a different direction. As artists, it is important to become resilient and use criticism to better ourselves, so that we can persevere and endure in our creativity.
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A few weeks ago, Paul Gibbs from NoteSpire radio interviewed me about faith and being creative. We discussed using life experiences in our songwriting in order to help others, the post creatives blues, creating the Thaw painting and the role of music teaching. We also talked about my song I Won’t Rush You which you can find here.
NoteSpire radio is based in the USA in York, Pennsylvania, so we had challenge with the time difference, and the interview was recorded at midnight here in England. However I was wide awake!
The interview is being broadcast live on the radio station from Wednesday 7 June, however it is also available as a podcast to listen to now on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and all main podcast sites. Grab and a cup of tea and enjoy!
You’ve finished a piece of work that you have loved creating. A real passion project that has been a dream come true. You’ve given your all to making this work and now it has finished. You’ve had lots of amazing comments and feedback on your creation, and it feels good, it feels amazing. Yet underneath it all, you feel drained and slightly down. How can this be? It makes no sense; your brain tells you that you should feel amazing but secretly you feel exhausted.
Recently, I was speaking with a friend who is experiencing the post creative blues, that space within the past project and the future project. A mixed space of joy and depression that leaves you confused by the paradox of both emotions. A space that leaves you exhausted wondering if you can do it all over again. She was mainly confused by how tired and drained she felt from giving herself to a long, demanding project. Her questions ranged from, “is this normal?” to “will I feel like creating again?”. And the answer to both those questions is yes.
The post creative blues are real. To be realistic, you’ve just given birth to a project that you have been nurturing for a long time. You’ve taken care over every detail and carefully grown an idea from a small seed of an idea into a beautiful baby. Now that baby has been born you need to rest both your mind and body before starting again. We forget this and presume that we are capable of continually producing work, that we can always give to others, but before we can give, we must receive and replenish ourselves. You can’t pour out of an empty vessel.
We are more than artists; we are human beings. Being an artist doesn’t define who we are, it adds to who we are. Learning to care for and nurture ourselves before we create is essential for our daily living, our survival. If we look after ourselves will ultimately create better more defined work, and more importantly we will enjoy what we are creating. If we’re so tired that the joy of creating has gone, then there’s no point creating.
Part of the creation process takes us beyond ourselves and our capabilities; we channel the divine in order to create. Those artistic eureka moments bring both ease and exhaustion as we battle with our inadequacies and rejoice as we achieve our goals. The ease and exhaustion come as the divine pushes us beyond our capabilities, and we create something far greater than we imagined. The Bible tells us that God created the world in six days and on the seventh day he rested. There’s a good lesson in this, that even the supreme creator took time out to rest.
The other issue is the loss of purpose after a project ends; suddenly we have time on our hands and we don’t know what to do with ourselves. All the drive and passion are laid down as we step back from the projection completion. It’s in these times that we need to remind ourselves of the ebb and flow of life, there are always busy and quiet times, and they follow a natural cycle. It’s important to recognise that these seasons will pass and a time to create will come around again. You haven’t lost your purpose; you are in the process of redefining your purpose whilst you wait for the next project.
The post creative blues should remind us that we have just achieved greatness in our creativity. They are signal to remind us to rest and recuperate, and to take stock of everything that we have achieved, but also that there will be further opportunities in the future. This is just the lull before we get back up and try something new, it’s not the end. If anything, the post creative blues remind us that the best is yet to come.
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Some days starting a new creative project is really hard. Creativity can be as difficult as it is pleasing. If I’m not in the mood, distractions become attractive. My head tells me that other options are available, but my heart wants to create…
Food. Yes really, I cannot tell you how many times I’ve settled down to work and my stomach has decided that food is more important. A sandwich, crisps, a biscuit (I don’t even like biscuits!), anything to stop me doing some work.
Neighbours. Suddenly the activities of my neighbours become far more interesting than writing a song, blog or doing some artwork. Who knew that next door’s Deliveroo delivery could be so entertaining?!
The box set. I’ve seen Sex And the City 8000 times, I don’t need to see it again, yet hours on the sofa seem more attractive than getting started on a blog. Also don’t let me crack open the Ghostbusters box set…
Cleaning. Suddenly I have a desperate urge to clean everything and get on top of the housework. This is partially linked to the fact that I find it hard to be creative in a messy room. For me, a tidy room means a tidy mind. Coincidently I have no urge to clean when I’m not creating.
The phone. This is a dangerous problem. Hours can be lost doom scrolling and checking out other artists and what they are up to. It can be a door to depression, so don’t go there. Don’t look at their accounts, concentrate on what you are doing. Also, whatever you do, absolutely do not look on Amazon, it leads to stupid purchases.
Old work. Looking at unfinished projects and suddenly thinking that they are more important than the piece I’m working on now. I also look at pieces I have finished and past successes (and failures!!!) and waste a lot of time analysing how I would have done things differently.
Emails. Messages from clients, friends, shops that I once bought something from in 2015…. These all become very urgent when I’ve got a creative project to start.
The need to go outside. As soon as I’ve got to sit down and focus, my brain tells me that I need to be outside in the sunshine. Or, even worse… that I will work better in a coffee shop. I’ve learnt to set times or targets for working and then the reward is a wander outside.
Tea. I have come to the conclusion that a cup of tea has the same danger as a mythical siren; the kettle is so alluring and takes me away from my goal. It all starts with “I’ll just have a quick cuppa…”
Teenage music. And by this, I mean the music that I listened to when I was a teenager. Hours of time lost to listening to Adamski and the Prodigy.
PS. I wrote this blog instead of composing some music that desperately needs finishing. I was listening to Killer by Adamski. You’re welcome.
What makes you procrastinate and not be creative?
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At the end of 2021, Ruth Carlyle asked me to arrange one of her poems, A Homely Blessing, as a song for her new album. Excited by the challenge, I began work on creating a setting that was jazzy and inspired by popular music, knowing that this would be a departure from Ruth’s usual style. From an artistic perspective, this was a challenge in that the poem only has 3 stanzas, each with only 4 lines, however this gave room for greater scope with the harmonic progression and interpretation. This was an exciting composition project as it’s always a pleasure to collaborate with other artists. The recording features David Barton on the piano.
Ruth’s husband, Nic Carlyle, had the following to say about the project:
A Homely Blessing has been a special commission for Ruth and myself, for we have seen how important a sense of home is. We were very happy that Helen Sanderson White agreed to set Ruth’s words to music. Between 2011 and 2016, Ruth and I were both volunteers with a south London charity formed by local faith groups, Faith In Action Homelessness Project, who provided support to homeless and vulnerably housed people in the Merton Borough area. While Ruth acted as a trustee, I helped with the running of the showers and the laundry. Twice a week, in a local social hall, the group cooked a hot meal, with supplementary breakfasts and hot drinks, a warm social space, washing facilities and showers, a laundry service, as well as advice and referral services. For a few hours a week, something like basic home comforts were available to sixty to eighty people. For these people, home was something that had been lost along the way, ripped out of their lives, and now a struggle to regain. The second verse was something the group aimed for, the basics of food, shared together, extending a warm welcome, and finding friendship in a cruel, uncaring and unforgiving city. Ruth and I earnestly hope that home in all senses of the lyrics are found again within the lives of the people we met. It is to them we dedicate and sing this blessing, and any profits or donations go to Faith In Action Homelessness Project.
You can listen to the song here or make a donation to the Faith In Action Homeless Project here.
I didn’t expect to be releasing this song; I wrote it seven years ago for a project that has been long abandoned. This song comes from a collection that I wrote in 2014 about the ins and outs relationships. Despite not releasing it, earlier this year I felt the compulsion to do so as it seemed to be important and that it might be useful to people. The song examines the dissatisfaction that comes from wanting everything you see in the hope that it will be fulfilling and mend an already broken relationship. It was a response to a situation I was seeing unfold in a friend’s life at the time of writing.
I’ve never performed this song, and it’s been sat on my Laptop hard drive for awhile. When I went looking for it, I had one of those moments that every artist dreads, I couldn’t find it! I’m meticulous about making sure everything is backed up so I was quite surprised that I couldn’t locate the Logic file. I did find an mp3 of the demo though, and when I listened to the recording, it sounded dated and it didn’t express the vibe of the song well. I’ve created a more contemporary arrangement for the track, and all I can say is that not being able to find the original file has been a happy accident! The new arrangement is a much better interpretation of the lyrics, and represents the topic matter more clearly.
Sometimes when we create something, and we must lay it down for a season until it is the right time to be released to the world. Prophesying always takes place long before the prophecy comes to fruition. Wait for the right time to release your work; this way it will be the most effective physically and spiritually. So however this is for, this is for you…
When we think of miracles of healing, it’s natural to think of these occurrences being instantaneous. We’ve all seen films where there is a “suddenly” moment and the character’s life is changed forever. We expect our petitions to be met with a grand act of healing that is life changing and immediate. The Bible is full of examples of Jesus healing people on the spot; all these acts were designed to point to the glory of the Lord. However, there are also examples of healing being a process that takes time.
I wanted to write a song that reflected my own experience of healing; one that was a journey of highs and lows, a continual conversation with myself and Jesus. One thing that I have learnt is that the Lord is never in a rush. He takes time to walk with us on our journey, stretching and developing our character, tenacity and strength. My own journey of healing has taken years, not because the Lord wanted me to suffer or because I wouldn’t cooperate, but because the Lord is gracious and patient. He allowed me work through the process at my own pace, patiently waiting for me when I wavered, and encouraging me as I made progress. Would I have liked him to heal me instantly? Yes of course. However, because of the journey that I have travelled, my relationship with Jesus is stronger and deeper, and I now know how to help others in the same position because I have direct experience of this particular situation.
The days, months, years of praying are not wasted; those prayers do a deep work within us. While we wait for our moment, the Lord is also changing us through our petitions. We gain far more than the healing we ask for; the miracle comes with the benefit of becoming more like Christ, an understanding that he alone is in control, and a dependency on him that gives a solid foundation to our faith.
We see a similar progressive healing in 2 Kings 5 where the Lord tells Naaman to bathe in the river 7 times to cure his leprosy. This isn’t instant healing, it’s a journey of faith as Naaman holds onto the promise of a miracle. At first, he was angry that his request hadn’t been granted with immediate effect, but we later learn that his servants encourage him to be humble and accept what he is being asked to do. We don’t always like the what the Lord asks us to do, but it always has a good end and benefit for us even when we can’t see it. In Naaman’s case, trusting in the Lord and doing what he was told to do produced his healing. This process inspired his faith journey and he learnt more about the Lord’s ways of doing things. The result brought about victory for Naaman, and glory for the Lord, and as a result the Lord’s reputation spread throughout the region.
When it comes to healing, whether it’s instant or a journey, the Lord wants to heal us. For some of us that will be in our lifetime, and for others it comes when we die and receive our heavenly bodies. Some of us are healed by the miracle of medical science and others by the miracle hands of God. If we learn to see the world through God’s eyes, we can see his hand working through everything. When it comes to learning about God’s ways, he says “I won’t rush you…”.
Starting Over Again… Five years ago I wrote this song very late at night! It’s a song about seizing the moment, accepting that change can be good and a fresh start can lead to new, exciting things.
New single! Starting Over Again was originally released only to my Helen’s Angels group. However, I’ve decided to release the song on the Bandcamp platform only on BANDCAMP DAY (today – Friday 3 December). If you download it on Bandcamp day, they waive their fees and I receive more money which means I can make more music! You can listen to the track here.
My full digital discography is available with 25% discount! You can download it here for £16.30. It doesn’t include my first two albums as they are only available on CD, but everything else from 2011 onwards is ready download…