So how many times in the last week have you thought “how will I ever get this done?” or “just give me a break” or “why are you so hard on me?”. Social media platforms show everyone’s perfect life with their perfect friends and family. But let’s be fair about this, most of what we see on social media is an edit of what it really happening in someone’s life. I think what gets me the most is the amount of judgement against each other’s life choices. We all do it from time to time without being aware of it. However, some people, through lack of understanding, can be quite condemning of situations that are different from their own. Our paths in life are all different and rightly so, we are unique, not one of us is the same, so how could we all walk the same path? 

If I’m totally honest, I became tired of other people’s expectations of me. We live in a society that can push motherhood towards perfection and disallows women to flourish outside of that role. Every women’s experience of motherhood is different and like a lot of women, single motherhood was never part of my plan, but it’s a thousand times better than the situation I was in before. We’ve seen the backlash to this movement in popular books such as “Why Mummy Drinks” by Gill Sims and the rise of social media stars such as Kristina Kuzmic, who celebrate their humanity by stating that it’s ok to not be a perfect mother. 

If anything, I wanted this song to point out that it’s ok to live our lives in a way that works for us. Being hard on other people doesn’t make them aspire to live differently, more over that they feel condemned by it. People thrive when they are loved and respected, not put down and judged. Positive attitudes bring hope to a situation, and encourage people to keep going when times are tough. And let’s face it, being a parent is never-ending hard work, full of challenges and rewards. 

So this song is a shout out to all the women making life happen. Those who work, parent, mentor, cook, clean, create, nurture, manage, plan, care and hold it all together for others. Those who rise to the challenge and and keep going no matter what. You rock!

You can download the mp3 from iTunes, Amazon and Bandcamp. Or listen on Spotify and Apple Music. Remember, every time you buy music from an independent artist, you’re contributing resources for them to make more music in the future.

Download the single here

Join my mailing list here.

Where do the years go? Fifteen years ago on Saturday 5 June 2004, I released my first Album Conversations With The Heart. It seems like a lifetime ago now, but that album came into being by chance. I was studying for a music degree at the time and was writing bits and pieces in between that and music teaching. 

A friend of mine asked me to perform at New Eden Music Festival in Torquay in the summer of 2003 and after the performance I bumped into some old friends who were also recording their work. Those are lifetime friends, Peter and Debs Brazier. A quick conversation and a swap of contact details led to me sending Pete some home demos of my songs. Before I knew it was was standing in their dining room in Paignton, singing into a microphone. I faithfully trudged up and down from North London to Paignton with piano in the boot of my car for a weekend of recording many times over a period months until the project was finished. The whole project was made on the tiniest of budgets and a lot of tea from Debs! The artwork was created by Andrew Wainwright, a friend from music college.

The album launch took place on a very hot evening at St Margaret’s Church, Uxbridge and from memory we had about eighty people there. It wasn’t just me performing that night, Sheryl Anne Ashton also sang some solos and then joined me for some duets. It’s so great to be able to perform and make music with friends! 

And here I am these years on, still proudly an independent artist. I’ve had dalliances with record companies but I’ve never been made a sensible offer (just ridiculous ones!). Two albums, four EPs and lots of singles later. Still making music myself, still finding new ways to make it work. Here’s to the next fifteen years… 

What would you like to hear from me?

Join my angels here.

When I woke up yesterday, it was just a normal day. I got the kids ready for school, dropped them off and then drove to work. Work followed by tea, homework, baths, bedtime, piano teaching and THEN… by the end of the day I had released a new song. Yes that’s right, I just randomly released a single spontaneously, on a whim. That’s one of the joys of being an independent artist (believe me there aren’t many, but that is definitely a good thing).

Over the last two years, people have asked me to release some of my demos and live music so that they can hear how the process works. It’s funny, as artists, we often think that people always want the finished product; however, it seems that people like to to see what goes on behind the scenes. There’s something edgy and exciting about hearing a rough demo or a live performance. You can feel the energy and emotion that the writer originally intended, and hear how the song developed. Often the demo sounds vastly different than the actual song that is finally released.  The reaction to Worn Out Shoes, a song I wrote with Adam Overton, was overwhelming. Despite the rawness of this recording, (I laugh in it and Adam apologises!), people went mad over it.

With this in mind, I’ve decided to release an EP called Sketchbook:The Demos which will be released later this year. The first single from this project is What Am I Meant To Do With This Love? You may remember that I recorded a video blog about this song in November 2015; it took me ten and a half years to write this song! Sounds weird but in artistic terms that’s normal. The amount of time and maturity needed to process the topic and create something you’re proud of can be a long event.

Releasing this single is a real kick up the arse for me. In March last year, I announced that I was pulling out of the music industry due to the fact that people stopped sodding well paying me. As romantic as it sounds, teaching music and making music for free ain’t gonna to happen: I have two kids and a mortgage. I have managed to partially to stay in the music on a part-time basis, however the threats of non-payment continue and recently an organisation cut my pay by 20 per cent and backdated it by four months. The arts are in big trouble. Only today I had a text from a friend in the arts industry to say that she was made redundant on the spot just two days before.

I’ve spent decades trying to make good music. There were times where I felt that I had sold my soul to do that. As soon as organisations become involved with art, you lose your baby in both good and bad ways. The good being that many hands can make a song or the bad way, can mean that your music gets wrecked. I couldn’t handle being told what to write about anymore. I’ve never been able to fit into the traditional mould of “Christian Artist”, I consider myself to be an artist who happens to be a Christian. That’s not to say that my faith doesn’t inform and influence my art, however I feel it’s my calling to write on wider topics and explore what God wants to say. So what I’m very politely saying is… this is me. Deal with it!

So enjoy my spontaneity, warts and all recording! Check out my new song: What Am I Meant To Do With This Love? and support my art. I’d love to hear from you about my work, you can contact me here.