Earlier this week I was feeling discouraged about my prayer life, mainly that I haven’t seen many answers to my prayers over the last year. Having moaned at God for his lack of communication, I decided to dig out my journal to see what I was talking to the Lord about this time last year. I always write down the situations and people that I am praying for, plus how I feel and what I think God might be saying. Looking back through last year’s entries was revealing; it’s amazing how much I have forgotten and how quickly life moves on. It’s easy to get caught up in the detail of everyday life and forget where I was a few months ago and what God has done for me.  

This time last year I was asking the Lord for several things that needed his help and advice. Although some of the situations did not change immediately, over the last year things have slowly started to move and improve. Some of the answers were small and could have been easily missed, whereas others were much clearer. If I hadn’t had written down each incident and response from God, I would have missed what he was saying and doing. Looking back, I can see how he was working behind the scenes to bring me to the point of understanding what he was doing and what he was asking me to do next. And although the whole answer may not be fully visible yet, there are signs of change.  

There’s so much more that comes with God’s answers; our mindset changes, I could see in the pages how my thought processes have changed and how I’ve grown in faith. My beliefs about who God is and his involvement in my life have changed for the better. He uses our prayers to develop us mentally, emotionally and spiritually, as well as bringing breakthrough to our petitions.  

By journalling I can see God’s participation in my life, it encourages me to keep persevering and walking with him. By rejoicing at what he is doing, I remember to be thankful for what he has done. Our praise creates a way for God to do more in our lives as it keeps our hearts and minds in line with him. In Joshua 4:6, Joshua builds a memorial marking the miracle that God performed when they crossed the river Jordan. He did this so that future generations would remember their relationship with God and learn more about his character. God knew that the Israelites would soon forget this miracle, and that they would become focused on their daily lives, so he asked them to continue to rejoice at what he had done for them. 

Journalling keeps us on track with our requests. Some situations require persistent prayer over a period of time; by writing down our thoughts and the changes we can see, we maintain our focus on our prayer requests. One of the most common reasons that we don’t see answer to prayer, is that we give up too soon or our commitment to asking for change fades away.  

If you’re struggling with your prayer life, try writing down your requests and keep track of God and what he is saying. You may find it that you’re much further into the process of change than you thought.  

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A few years ago, I saw a meme that said “Dear Lord…” and then showed a big pile of Scrabble letters that were in a mess. If I could describe my prayer life to you right now, that meme would accurately describe it. Today I had one of those moments where my prayers were car-crashing into each other. I arrived at church in good time (this is unusual, make no assumptions here!), and from the minute I sat down, my thoughts were scrambled up. No prayer was coherent, I’d start a sentence and not be able to complete it before the next thought took my mind captive. The sheer weight of all the situations I’m carrying weighing down on me.  

“Lord, I need help with…” 

“Please heal Jo…”* 

“Do I need to be worried about…” 

“Tomorrow I have to…” 

“I’m not sure I can…” 

Not one sentence made sense. My brain was raising one issue after another with no space to think. I said to the Lord, “I hope you understand all of that because it’s the best I can do right now.” And in that moment, I had a deep peace that the Lord had understood my heart’s cry and that he will answer me.  

In Luke 8, the woman who was bleeding and came to Jesus, received her answer to prayer without actually saying any words in the moment of breakthrough. She may have prayed before the event, but scripture indicates that she doesn’t say anything to Jesus, she just touches the hem of his cloak and is healed. In the moment of the miracle she has no words to say, yet Jesus’s spirit knows her need and meets it.  

Hannah got to the end of her rope in her situation. Desperate for a child and being tormented by husband’s other wife, her endless prayers became cries where her mouth moved but no sound came out. The situation had driven her to the point where she prayed until there was no sound left to make. We know that Eli the priest actually thought that she was drunk because of her distressed behaviour. Realising that she was petitioning the Lord out of sheer desperation, he came into agreement with her and the vow she had made to the Lord to offer her child back to God. The result was her prayer being answered. I’ve had occasions where I’m screaming my prayers at the Lord; those are raw yet powerful prayers as they lead me to submit to the Lord’s will. When faced with an impossible situations, I’ve learnt that the best route is the Lord’s plan. 

The Lord can take our broken, messy prayers and still understand them. He knows what we are crying out for and can read our hearts and minds even when we don’t make sense. Our words and sentences may be crashing into each other or there may be no words at all, but the Lord hears and sees it all. These stories remind us that we are not alone in journey and that the Lord always answers are prayers even if the answers are unexpected. All he wants is for us to turn to him and ask for wisdom, mercy and for his will to be done in our lives. Be encouraged that your jumbled prayers make sense to Jesus.  

*The name has been changed for privacy here.