Many years ago, a friend said to me “don’t place a full stop, where God is placing a comma…”. A phrase that has stayed with me. Whenever I’m feeling defeated, this phrase comes to mind. A haunting reminder that we all too often cease walking in God’s plans for us. I’ve been through a season where I had to let go of things and let them drop to the ground in order to do the necessary tasks of life. It was unexpected. I hadn’t planned on not leading worship or being in the church band, but I haven’t been involved in that for 4 and a half years. However, by releasing this part of life, it has allowed me to concentrate on my family’s needs and bring us through some important milestones.

Similarly, I didn’t expect to stand the creative side of my business down for a while, I continued to teach singing and piano (31 years this year!) but the songwriting, blogs and painting needed to stop for some time. I have created a few things along the way but not my usual big projects. What I didn’t realise is that the combination of not performing, creating and worshipping would have an adverse effect on me. So much of who I am is bound up in those elements; I felt like I stopped being me. There was little joy and it changed my perspective on hope, as though I was seeing the world through a distorted lens. A lot of my raison d’être, drive and ambition is bound up in my creativity, my joie de vivre. Overtime, I began to wonder if it was possible to get my drive and creativity back.

There have also been some changes in my business: departures and arrivals. I decided to bring my Patreon journey to an end after seven years of creating. I had really enjoyed the process, made some fun things and met some new people, but it was time for something new. I’ve also started mentoring artists again, something which I love! It’s been a joy to walk alongside those who are starting out and are building from scratch and also working with those who are further down the road of the artistic journey who need direction and encouragement. These are interesting times to be an artist; there is less funding than ever in the UK, however people’s appetite for something of meaning is growing. In a world of turmoil, inspiring people has never been more important.

The artistic life can be a series of deaths and resurrections, each bringing a change of direction or simply helping us to return stronger than before. A renewed sense of purpose. This doesn’t negate the trauma that the death can cause but is realistic in that hope prevails. We shed the past and start anew. How many artists have given up because they didn’t understand the process of metamorphosis? At some point, every artist could do with a well-seasoned mentor. I wish I could have had one in my younger days but treading the path alone has taught me many valuable things which I now get to share with others.

All creativity needs a period of rest, a fallow time. As we rest, our strength grows. We need to gather strength to carry and bear the weight of the new projects yet to come. If we do not rest, we will fail. Before we start to carry greater artistry, we must prepare ourselves during the waiting time. Brains and bodies need time to recover, reflect, ruminate and revive to work well. If we don’t create space, the new ideas don’t have room to grow. Rest is essential for our own development.

So what now? New music beckons… I want to leave behind some of the songs of the past and write new material. There are songs that I wrote in the last 25 years that were right for the time but aren’t where I am now – I’ve outgrown them. It feels right to leave some of that era in the past and start again. I’m not saying that I won’t sing them ever again, but it’s time a draw a line in the sand and explore new worlds. I’m excited to continue to write songs and delve into new ideas and sounds. I’m 49 and starting the second half of life, there’s so much to discover by moving into a different season of life.

It’s so easy to assume that the rest is an ending, when we should be reminding ourselves that life comes around full circle. So here’s looking forward to future creative projects! If you’re in a period of confusion and can’t work out what the purpose of the season is, be kind to yourself and remember “don’t place a full stop, where God is placing a comma…”.

Thank you for taking the time to read my blog! It takes a range of resources to provide a service like this, if you would like to contribute to my work, please feel free to make a donation via Ko-Fi here.